“Broad City” Recap: Season 4, Episode 8 — “House Sitting”


This week on Broad City, Ilana gets hired to house sit at a place with a washer-dryer set, and Abbi matches on Bumble with someone from high school. Hint: He wasn’t her classmate. As always, check out our contributors’s reactions!

When Danielle and Lindsay go to watch the episode:

Danielle: This episode is called “House Sitting.”

Lindsay: They’re gonna break something!

When they are in the apartment:

Lindsay: That laundry room is the size of my apartment.

Danielle: Do you think this is what Lady Gaga’s apartment looks like?

Lindsay: Do you think Lady Gaga has medieval decorations in her house?

Danielle: Didn’t you see her house in her documentary?

Lindsay: She could have five houses.

bidet bc898

When Abbi and Ilana find the bidet:

Danielle: Oh, a bidet! Have you ever used one?

Lindsay: No. Have you ever used one?

Danielle: I did and I messed up.

Lindsay: How did you mess up a bidet?

Danielle: Oh, this is totally a plug for Bumble!

Lindsay: I still need to know how you messed up a bidet.

Danielle: I just got the water over places I wasn’t supposed to. Are you supposed to sit on a bidet like a toilet?

Lindsay: I just told you I’ve never used a bidet!

When Abbi’s teacher shows up:

Danielle: Do you think he’s an English teacher or a social studies teacher?

Lindsay: Umm… Social studies.

Danielle: I was thinking that too, but then I thought English.

Lindsay: He could also be economics.

Danielle: They made you take that class?!

Lindsay: Yeah.

Danielle: I told you he was an English teacher!

teacher b310d

When Lindsay gets an entrepreneurial streak:

Lindsay: Do you want to start a business and it’s men’s business suits with shoulder pads?

Danielle: What?

Lindsay: Like, a suitcoat with shoulder pads, but for men only.

Danielle: But why would they need shoulder pads?

Lindsay: Why do women wear shoulder pads?

Danielle: Oh. You’re right.

When Ilana and Lincoln are dressing up:

Danielle: She’s gonna poop in her dress!

Lindsay: That would be two poop episodes with Ilana’s poop!

Danielle: But what if she eats cheese?

lincoln dbf2c

When Abbi and Ilana were talking about Home Improvement:

Danielle: I don’t remember much about Home Improvement.

Lindsay: I was watching Home Improvement in its prime. Fourth grade was all about watching Home Improvement on Tuesday nights.

Danielle: I think I watched
Home Improvement on Nick at Nite.

Lindsay: Oh. my. god…

When Ilana pooped:

Danielle: I knew she was going to poop!

Lindsay: They did that!

Danielle: It’s fine, they can just use the laundry room.

When Ilana and Lincoln are sharing their Google calendars:

Danielle: We should do that.

Lindsay: What?

Danielle: Share our Google calendars.

Lindsay: I think it’s time.

When Lincoln and Ilana decide to separate:

Lindsay: No! I don’t want Lincoln to leave.

Danielle: Wait. What happened?

Lindsay: They’re taking time apart so she doesn’t become the Doritos.

Danielle: Oh, that’s so sweet. 

When Jaime is on the staircase:

Danielle: Spiraling staircase! IT’S A METAPHOR FOR HIS LIFE SPIRALING.

housesitting2 b218f

When Abbi is about to sleep with her teacher:

Danielle: Have you ever read The New Yorker front to back?

Lindsay: Nope.

Danielle: You missed it! They kissed!

Lindsay: Oh no.

Danielle: Eeeewwwwwwww.

Lindsay: There’s just so much bad stuff happening in this room.

Danielle: A lot of things were broken, just not objects.

Lindsay: Yep.

Danielle: Do you think that was Abbi’s real teacher?

Lindsay: Mike Birbiglia is her real teacher?

Danielle: Oh, I didn’t know it was him.

Lindsay: He’s trying to think of child Abbi!

Danielle: OH, FUCK HIM.

Lindsay: This is not good timing.

Final thoughts on the episode:

Danielle: The only teachers you can have sex with are the ones that aren’t yours.

Images via Broad City/Comedy Central

More from BUST

“Broad City” Recap: Season 4, Episode 7 — “Florida”

“Broad City” Recap: Season 4, Episode 6 — “Witches”

“Broad City” Recap: Season 4, Episode 5  — “Abbi’s Mom”


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