Dr. Carol Queen Explores The Titillating Trend Of Rose Parties 

by Dr. Carol Queen

Over the past few years, a new kind of sex toy has drawn a lot of attention and sparked a ton of orgasms. Air suction or Pleasure Air clitoral toys use pulses of air to stimulate the clitoris, feeling to many users like the kind of suction that accompanies cunnilingus. It’s easy to see why these toys inspire raves. (Though for some sensitive souls, they are too focused and the sensation they create is just too much.)

Several companies make this type of device now and they all have their fans. But TikTok stepped in with a fave—the Rose Toy. The Rose has earned its fame. It’s a silicone air-suction toy shaped like a pretty rose. A user cups it in their palm and engulfs the clit in its petals (there’s an opening right in the middle). You can ramp up the power, and many people who love this and comparable toys really think of them as lil’ orgasm machines. Which is awesome! 

But these are modern times, so everything can always be made a little more involved. In the case of the Rose, it has inspired something pretty extra—namely “Rose Parties.” These are like a cross between a masturbate-a-thon and a sporting event. And though I haven’t yet wrangled myself an invitation to one, based on what I’ve read, they go something like this: 1. Everyone gets together for a party and brings along a Rose Toy. 2. At some point, everyone drops their panties (if they were wearing any to begin with) and fires up their Rose. 3. Then the masturbation begins! 4. The person who “wins” at a Rose Party is the one who can keep from orgasming the longest. It’s an exercise in orgasm control and someone maybe wins a prize.

I am sure you have questions. So do I—though I used to organize play parties in the ’90s in San Francisco, so I do know quite a bit about getting your house ready by throwing extra sheets over the furniture, making sure there is lubricant in easy reach of your guests (water-based, since the Rose is silicone), and procuring wipes for easy clean-up. Rapid COVID tests would be a good idea, as would making sure your venue can be well-ventilated and people can spread out. Water bottles for hydration are a must. 

Now that the generalities have been covered, here are a few more specific ideas for making a Rose Party bloom:

Whom should I invite to my Rose Party?
Well, this is a clitoris-forward situation, so, invite your most adventurous friends with clitorises. Exhibitionists are a plus; if you have sex-worker pals, they might fit right in. Make sure everyone knows that this is a sexually oriented event. Do not spring anything on anyone! That is not a sex-positive form of hosting. You want consent and people who know the ropes of a consent-based scene.

How do I get the party started? 
This is a great question, since in my experience, people are sometimes down to attend but then it’s pretty easy to chat and flirt around the beverage station rather than getting down to it. Give people some time to get comfortable with each other, close the doors at a certain point (and let people know when), then announce that attendees should claim some space and get their Roses ready.

Do’s and don’ts?
Do respect people’s boundaries and don’t pressure anyone. This isn’t a party to just reach out and touch people, unless everyone has agreed that’s cool or you’ve made a clear consent protocol for this. Do your best to make sure comfort levels are honored. Don’t get super drunk. Don’t take pictures or let anyone else take them unless this is 100 percent OK with everyone. (Even then, people’s circumstances could change, so maybe just don’t.) 

What should the winner win?
Since I haven’t attended one of these myself, I’m not sure what sort of prize the winner is supposed to get. Orgasm is its own reward, from one point of view. On the other hand, wouldn’t a nice trophy look cute on the winner’s nightstand? It would be a great conversation starter when they have guests over. It would also be easy enough to charge a door fee and pool that money for the winner. 

What should one serve at a Rose Party?
I’m gonna go with rosé, maybe a nice bubbly one? But also, get some fancy rose petal sodas for the teetotalers.

Where do I get the Rose so I’ll be ready for anything?
The store where I’m the Staff Sexologist, Good Vibrations, carries multiple Rose Toys for your orgasming pleasure! Shop in-store or at goodvibes.com.

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