The GOP Isn’t Confident that Women Can Understand a Pie Chart

by Emma Tilden

The GOP is apparently trying to figure out why, oh why, they aren’t getting more of the female vote!  It is strange that a group so devoted to saving women from their heathen desire for contraception could consistently rank behind their democratic competitors in the polls.

Lucky for them, they’ve got North Carolina Congresswoman Renee Ellmers to advise them in their quest to win over female voters.  On Friday, July 18, Ellmers addressed a panel organized by the Republican Study Committee, stating that the party would make more headway with female voters if it were to bring policy discussions “down to a woman’s level.” 

Yep.  DOWN to a WOMAN’S LEVEL.  She said that.  Un-ironically.  Out loud. 

And this was only after she had graced the stage with this gem of an insight: “Men do tend to talk about things on a much higher level… Many of my male colleagues, when they go to the House floor, you know, they’ve got some pie chart or graph behind them and they’re talking about trillions of dollars and how, you know, the debt is awful and, you know, we all agree with that.” 

Yes we do.  And we also know how to read pie charts, thanks for asking.  But if they think that’s all that’s keeping many women from voting conservative , they’ve got another thing coming.  Or, at least, they should.  But moderator and Wall Street Journal columnist Kim Strassel, is, understandably, still stuck on the idea that, “the problem here is not necessarily conservative policy, it’s our messaging.” 

Basically, policymakers are looking to rebrand their de facto “War on Women” by putting it in a pretty box.  Clearly women won’t be able to see through any bulls**t marketing ploy to realize that the GOP has been plugging the same borderline misogynistic policies  the whole time.  Nope, it’s too complex for our pretty little heads. 

“It’s how we are able to articulate ourselves,” Ellmers added, “…make sure we get the point across that we care.”  True, nothing says “I care about women” like denying them access to basic healthcare such as abortions and contraceptives.  This plan is already off to a great start. 

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