My Fashion’s Night Out: Standing in Line, Not Shoplifting and Bedwetting (pt 2)

by Emilie Branch

Fashion’s Night Out could very well have been called ‘Shoplifting’s Night Out”. There were a million people in every store, all the merchandise was scattered, and the staff was drunk. This technically made for the perfect crime, but we didn’t want to 1. Get caught or 2. Tarnish the rep of FNO, so we kept our hands in our pockets. These boys have their hands on something else to thwart the universal desire to steal eyeliner.

That being said, isn’t this the most beautiful image of public urination you’ve ever seen?  Not only do they both have perfect skin, a toe is pivoted and there’s a balloon!

Here is a series I like to call: “Impromptu Photoshoot En-Route to Miu Miu”

When we finally made it there, I was delighted to see foot-binding technology has come a long way and is still (after all these years) in fashion.

As are antlers—it’s the season of the stag, darling.

The meanest girl in Junior High.

Vodka Tonic carnage

The line for the bathroom at the only restaurant on Prince Street: 9:48pm

This man invented fashion. Everyone walking around all night was just doing their best impersonation of him in futile.


We had come to Pat Field in search of promotional eyelashes, but you had to either be a drag queen, know a drag queen, or know someone who knew a drag queen to get in.

I was listening in on other people’s conversations, trying to hear a name I could drop, when the queen herself walked by. It was then that I managed to take what is most likely THE worst photograph of Patricia Field of all time. Disclaimer*

At this point we lost interest and logically decided, “If we can’t have eyelashes, we may as well get burgers.”


See you next year!


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