Kraft’s Tasty “Zesty Italian Dressing Guy” Stirs Controversy with One Million Moms and Lust with Me

by Mary Grace Garis

So I haven’t heard of Kraft’s “Zesty Guy” until recently, mostly because I think salad is the devil. I plan to be like the great residents of Pawnee, Indiana one day: “first in friendship, fourth in obesity.” However, yesterday I laid my eyes on Kraft’s latest Zesty Guy ad and…god, I am hungry for some vegetables.

Of course, though, due to the “provocative” nature of the ad (as you can see, the man is all but naked aside from some strategically place gingham) some people are up in arms. Sexuality used to sell a product? OH MY GRASH, NO! It’s not like we see that kind of thing with women constantly.

Specifically, the ultra-conservative Christian group “One Million Moms” basically threw a hissy fit – I MEAN, released a press statement –  saying they “cannot get over the gall of this company. It is unnecessary for Kraft to use s*x to sell Salad Dressing!”


Who IS part of One Million Moms, anyway? Certainly not my mom, who gushed about how hot Alcide from True Blood is at Chili’s last night.

Let’s discuss something else: how do these ads make you feel, exactly? When it comes to sexual objectification, is it a two-way street? Or are you like me and think “about fucking time” when you see this Adonis of a man? Basically that one buff, shirtless guy is probably only payback for the thousands of bikini-clad babes we see trying to sell cars and beer on the regular.

Let’s consider the fact that the ads are trying to cater to a female, heteronormative demographic (because only girls eat salad lol!) as I’m sure that alone can be seen as offensive. Let’s also consider the argument that this is blatantly a satirical campaign that’s poking fun at those uber-exploitive ads of women (which it probably is, right?)

How does this make you FEEL BUSTies? Make sure not to skimp on words.

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