Aw, they’re whittle condoms for the babies!

by Jamie Doak

My feminist organization hands out condoms (just the regular Durex ones) all the time on campus and one time we ran out and had to send someone on a condom run to get more.  Well, in the meantime some generous soul saw our predicament and whipped 12 Magnums out of his backpack and donated it to our cause.  (Why did he have 12 Magnums in his backpack on Monday morning on campus at 10am?  No one will ever know but it gives a new meaning to being prepared.)  Anyway, the second we put those Magnums out boys started swarming us like vultures to get one.  Apparently there are a lot of Magnum sized boys on campus (2.25 inches width) or else, they just really want us to think they are. 

Anyway, the Swiss are having the opposite problem.  When studies showed increased sexual activity among 12-14 year old boys, a condom manufacturer started making “Hotshot” condoms in smaller sizes (1.75 inches) to fit their new clientele.  (Wait, you mean, you didn’t immediately send them all to an abstinence only program?  You…you….are trying to come up with a practical solution to decrease unintended pregnancies and STIs?  Uh, I hate to break it to you Europe, but you’re probably going to hell.)

Part of me wants to say that if you can’t fit in the condom because you haven’t finished, um, growing yet, then you’re probably not old enough to be engaging in sexual behavior.  But if 12 year olds are having sex more often then there probably needs to be some education going on and yes, some protection provided for that demographic.  Especially since other studies have shown that if condoms are too big, teens won’t use them.  So we can sleep easy now knowing there are condoms out there to fit the teeny weenies!

Information and picture from The Frisky.


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