Your Afternoon Rage: Actual Dating Tips Sold To Misogynists

by kelsey haight

My day was just ruined by a little viral video about men learning the science of seducing women. This video isn’t about how to get to know women, or listen to what they want or need, it’s about straight up TRICKING THEM INTO BEING SEXUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT ON YOU. Gosh, I know that sounds like the perfect relationship for every woman everywhere! 

I especially love that the video credits women’s super basic DNA and uncontrollable primal urges as the research. Furthermore, this is actually marketed as dating/love advice and comes as a self-help package you can purchase for the low, low price of $80, with the added bonus of an automatic induction into Eternal Douche Nation. 

My first instinct upon reading the URL: was to vom in my mouth, but I stuck around because hey, maybe there is a thing or two I could learn about being girlfriend material! Alas, I was greeted by a warning that this video was not made for women and would make me uncomfortable. Yet Christian the narrator encourages ugly, average, or above average guys to stay tuned for optimal results. Christian also informs me that, “the things women crave are really, really messed up. By tapping into this secret knowledge you will have what it takes to make any woman obsess over you.”

Christian does admit that not all women are the same (some want sex right away, some need romance beforehand – such variety!) but if you can learn how women’s brains work, then you can manipulate them into doing anything. We also learn that Christian used to have his whole life together with lots of money, but was really insecure and couldn’t talk to girls. Poor chum! Luckily he learned there is more to getting your way with women then throwing money at them; you have to get inside their heads and use texting patterns, confidence, and befriending ‘Pick-Up Artists’ to reach success.

This video also sells the message to men that dating is all about control, and that if you compensate for your fear of rejection with feigned confidence, girls will fall into your lap. Some other disconcerting terms thrown around in the video are, “social hack” and “overcome resistance.” These words insinuate a violation of mutual consent, and suggest that dating is about power, rather than emotional partnership or communication. I totally understand the power of body language and subtle nuances between potential sexual partners, but to go so far as to “decode the secrets of what women crave” is totally gross. I am actually scared by this because I know a lot of guys who feel entitled to the treatment that Christian aspires for and it’s the worst. 

I’m most creeped out by this video because it is totally misogynistic and utterly archaic. It makes old-as-f*ck assumptions about gender roles and women’s intelligence, it involves coercion and a circumvention of consent, and it strokes the male ego while diminishing women’s subjectivity. It also glorifies the manipulation of women, and encourages men to fake respect. Even if a man does seemingly respect a woman, this video suggests a constant hidden agenda behind that so-called respect, and generalizes that any man showing interest in a woman’s wants and needs is really only looking for sex. That’s offensive to women and men. 

“The Girlfriend Activation System operates as a shortcut for men who don’t know how to get the results they want from where they are. All it requires is that a man should be willing to study women to figure out what they want, so that he can provide it.” 

These “studies” are based off of Literotica, and how REAL women secretly crave certain less-than-gentlemanly treatment from men. The premise is that all women have some sort of “obsession story” hardwired into their brain which circumvents logic. Instead of making women feel like people, you can objectify them a little bit more, and redefine what they really want and need from you. 

The video claims it will teach men to “be one step ahead of women, and have them constantly crave you, pay for you, and sexually please you.” I really don’t have to express how absolutely ridiculous and offensive that is.

I guess I’m really mad because this video basically sells me the story that the dating world is full of guys waiting to manipulate and fuck me, and I can’t find many reasons to not believe that. At the same time, I really enjoyed laughing at the video,and any guy who feels obliged to try so hard. I am going to add this to the queue of Nice Guys on OkCupid and other legions of stupid shit that men do, all in the name of acquiring women! BRB GTG be single forever, and trust no man. 

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