Finally, technology has given other people the ability to easily track our menstrual cycles. Sound a little weird? That’s because it is. There are a slew of new applications for iPhones and iPads created specifically for husbands, boyfriends, and all around players, to track the cycle of any female they choose and theoretically plan their months accordingly. Of course, these applications are framed as though women become unmanageable beasts around their period, and men need this application to survive.
Check out some of the features from one application called Code Red:
ALERTS
- Smooth Sailing Alert — Let’s you know when she’s feeling like a team player.
- Horny Alert — Let’s you know when you’re able to score.
- PMS Alert — Let’s you know when to hit the (cold) showers.
- Ovulation Alert — Let’s you know when to sit on the sidelines (unless you’re ready to start a junior league).
- Code Red Alert — Let’s you know that it’s game time and you’re way out of bounds.
FEATURES
- Fully automated menstrual calendar
- 5 special alerts for each phase of her cycle
- Dynamic animations for each alert
- Helpful suggestions to survive each phase
- Links to local vendors for presents, groceries and goods (via Google Maps)
- Advanced calendar toggle settings
As silly as these applications sound, they are actually selling quite well, with Code Red reaching the #35 spot on the Lifestyle division of the Apple store. But what I find interesting about these applications is that their existence depends on the fact that the men buying them are forgoing actual communication and instead relying on secret surveillance to get the information they want. Rather than ask their supposed partners how they are feeling, or openly initiate or be receptive to conversation about menstruation, this device allows them to sidestep this and instead focus on their sexual needs and willingness to engage with a woman depending on her cycle. These are products that thrive because of the mysticism that surrounds the female body, and the cultural rift between women, men, and their bodies.
It also makes sense that these applications are marketed only to men in hetero relationships, because a female bodied couple would probably just talk about it with each other. I understand that these applications are just a money-making scheme, but if your guy happens to be one of the many buyers of these apps, I’d maybe start looking into an application for yourself, like Skout Dating.
