Lost Ladies: Taking Names, Killing Polar Bears

by Eliza C. Thompson

I’d just like to nerd out for a minute and talk about the fact that the final season of Lost premiered last night — I can’t be the only BUST reader who’s obsessed, right? Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil it for anybody who hasn’t had the chance to watch those two hours of glorious, crazy, WTF-is-going-on television yet, but I would like to take a moment to appreciate the totally awesome ladies who appear on that show. Seriously, can you think of any other show where there are so many strong female characters who aren’t man-crazy?  It’s gonna be a sad day when we can’t see these women in action anymore — I might have to start limiting my TV intake to reruns of Buffy so as not to go insane from the onslaught of Heidi Montag wannabes hitting me in the face. 

  A TRIBUTE TO THE LADIES OF LOST

First, there’s Kate.  Okay, so she has her man-crazy moments (see: every time she waffles between Jack and Sawyer), but most of the time, she’s a kick-ass fugitive who’s unafraid to wield a gun, rob a bank, or stand up to Jack, the poster boy for dudes who think girls are too delicate to blow shit up.  She also shows her motherly side when she adopts possibly-orphaned Aaron — proving that mothers can still be their own people with needs and wants outside of their children’s.  Yeah I know, not exactly revolutionary — but heady stuff coming from the same network who brings you Desperate Housewives and The Bachelor

Which brings us to Claire, who’s still MIA.  But before she wandered off into the dark jungle night, she was a brave young mother just trying to keep her kid safe from the Smoke Monster.  Her baby daddy left her, her island boyfriend drowned in a DHARMA station, her biological dad turned out to be none other than alcoholic troublemaker Christian Shephard, and she got kidnapped for a while by the intensely scary Ethan.  Yet through it all, she remained fiercely independent and got PISSED when people tried to tell her how to raise her baby.  

There’s also Sun — wife of one-time Korean mobster Jin.  If you recall, Sun was on that plane because she was attempting to run away from her controlling, criminal father.  She was also planning to leave Jin, which didn’t happen because he gave her that stupid flower and she was all ‘Oh how sweet,’ but eventually, she learned how to stand up for herself and became the camp’s resident herbalist.  She also has no problem telling Ben Linus where he can stick it when she finds out he’s probably responsible for her husband’s death.  

And of course, we can’t leave out Juliet, who eventually proved she was worth her weight in gun-slinging and plotting against the Others.  She came to the island as an expert fertility doctor (Who’d have thought?  A woman who’s smart and gorgeous!) who defects to the castaways when Ben Linus gets too crazy for comfort.  When we last saw her, she was about to sacrifice her own life to reset the timeline by blowing up a nuclear bomb with a rock.  Who says women can’t get things done?

The list goes on and on — Rousseau, the French woman who knows more about survival and booby traps than Locke and Sayid combined. Alex, Ben’s adopted daughter who routinely risks her life to help her boyfriend and the castaways. Ana Lucia, who rocked a leather vest like nobody’s business and succeeded in killing an Other or two. Penelope, who like Sun defies her dad Caleb Nichol to search for long-lost love Desmond and ends up being the one who rescues the Oceanic Six.  Ilana, who might be completely evil but is also the de facto leader of the Ajira survivors. Shannon, who died in season 2 because Sayid’s at his best when he’s really, really angry inside — but who also had exceptional French skills and wouldn’t let anybody tell her she was too pretty to be useful. Charlotte and Naomi, who were actually bounty hunters but were really good at anthropology and trickery, respectively.  Hurley’s mom, who is hilarious.  And finally, the unbelievably creepy Eloise Hawking.  She killed her own son from the future and then trained him in quantum physics so he could go back in time and undo the murder, which hurts my brain, but there is NO QUESTION that she is the worldwide expert in time travel and you DO NOT want to mess with her, or she will send you to the Tunisian desert with her magic pendulum.  Or something.

And yeah, a lot of those minor characters are dead, but really, who’s not dead on Lost?  (Answer: the white guys.)  But hey, at least those ladies had their time to shine for a little while.  And do you really think Jack/Sawyer/Locke/Desmond are all going to survive this season? HAHA. They’re totally not.  

photos courtesy Lostpedia

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Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

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