I Stuffed My Gob! A Bluth Banana Stand Review

by Laurel Walsh

Have you heard? The Banana Stand from Arrested Development has sprung to life and popped up in a few lucky cities. Our own N.Y.C. is a stop on the Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand World Tour, and if you’re buy-curious about those bananas, I can tell you all about ‘em.

This Monday, the Banana Stand was perched in front of the Rockefeller Centre in the middle of Manhattan. The line was up the block and around the corner, spanning two solid blocks around 6th Avenue and 49th Street. People on their way to work seemed super confused about the gaggles of ecstatic folks acting really jazzed about bananas. Maybe they didn’t want any chocolate on their $5,000 suits? COME ON!

I waited for about an hour between 12 and 1pm; not bad for midday. The wait was uneventful, and to be honest, at one point I had a friend hold my place while I visited a recent BUST Craftacular food vendor, The Cinnamon Snail.

Back at the Banana Stand, a man in a banana suit (nope, not Gob) was handing out “Mr. Manager” name tags to the patient masses. I donned my sticker and slowly ambled to the front of the line where two friendly faces (unfortunately NOT Michael Cera’s or Alia Shawkat’s) handed me the precious jewel that is an official Bluth banana.

It was actually in a little blue baggie with a Bluth sticker on it, and the sticker was there to cover up another company’s logo. So technically it was a Totally Bananas™ banana. Okiedoke.

My vegan eyeballs scanned the bag for a list of ingredients, and to my delight, there was no dairy to be found. You heard it here: the Bluth Banana Stand is serving vegan chocolate bananas. Can this mean the Bluths themselves are vegan? I bet Lindsay is. This is total extrapolation, but let your veggimaginations run wild anyway!

I ripped open the bag, found a perfectly-dipped chocolate frozen banana, and ate it. It was great. Tasted both chocolaty and banana-like.

While I was satisfied, some folks around me seemed disappointed. They wanted freshly frozen bananas still warm from melted chocolate and Michael Cera’s baby-soft hands. Is that too much to ask?!

Probably, yes. But I still encourage you to get your butt to the Banana Stand yourself if you can. Especially since there’s a big chance you’ll meet one of the Bluth family members set to make surprise appearances this week!


Here’s the stand’s schedule:

May 15th – Yankee Stadium, 3:30-8

May 16th – Times Square, 11-5, with special “Nevernude Reunion” at noon (wear your cutoffs!)

Then it’s off to L.A., and @Arrested Dev on Twitter will release details about those west coast locations anytime now.

 

Check it out! As the bespectacled high schoolers in front of me so artfully put it: “This is a once in a lifetime experience.” Or you could just order some online from totallybananas.net. But where’s the fun in that?

 

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Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

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