Thinking of taking a class in art? Spanish? Astrophysics?
Not when there’s a space available at the School for Undressing!
Unfortunately, the school closed quite some time ago. It opened in 1937, charging 30 hard-earned dollars (worth a whopping $497 today!) for six lessons to learn how to “undress” for your husband. Imagine spending $497 to pick-up an act “tee many martoonies” would have you doing anyway!
Now I know you’re wondering “How can I ever learn to strip properly if the school no longer exists?” Well don’t worry dahhlings, we have kindly provided photos from Life Magazine’s 1937 article, “How a Wife Should Undress” of the school’s burlesque masters showing how it’s done so you too can disrobe like the pros. Take notes ladies.
Lesson #1
As can be assumed here, the woman on the left (professor Connie Fonziau) can only remember toilet paper between her legs, while woman on the right (burlesque star June St. Clair) has been enjoying a fruitful life between the sheets because she knows garments exit from the legs-down.
Lesson #2
Uh oh, nowhere to go but south. Fonziau’s sex appeal has plummeted as she fumbles with her dress. Don’t let this be you…
Lesson #3
How adorable! Shirley Temple’s tween-aged sister (it’s actually burlesque star June St. Clair again) proudly lowers her panty hose the right way, sitting on a chair so she doesn’t fall on her baby-smooth bottom. Wait, maybe I’d have a few less bruises if I tried this. This may not be such a bad tip.
Lesson #4
“Honey, could you help me with this zipper?”
“No, dear, I’m enjoying watching you struggle.”
Final Exam
Time to flush your ring down the toilet. I’m sorry to say there are no excuses and zero chances of recovery from getting caught looking like this.
But despite it all, perhaps this outdated lesson can provide a sigh of relief that at least the women’s movement has made progress since Life‘s article was released. Or has it? What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!
Source: CNN
All photos via life.time.com
