This week on Broad City, Abbi and Ilana celebrate another anniversary of their friendship.
On Abbi and Ilana’s giant faces:
Lindsay: Abbi has an Ilana body pillow. Who would you get a body pillow of?
Danielle: Bruce Springsteen. Or Bruce Springsteen’s dog.
Lindsay: What does his dog look like?
Danielle: I dunno.
Lindsay: It’s not a body pillow! It’s just a giant face!
Danielle: Why is she bringing the giant face?
Lindsay: I don’t know, but I love it.
During a commercial break:
Lindsay: Hold on, I have to control my dogs. Ugh, I stepped in pee.
Danielle: Oh, I’m sorry.
Lindsay: It’s fine. This is my life.
Danielle: I picked up a puppy yesterday that I wasn’t supposed to pick up. But it was OK because in the end, I got to hold a puppy. Are you ready?
When Abbi is on her scavenger hunt:
Lindsay: Ilana is so good at this.
Danielle: Oh my god, no way. She was puppy hair!
Danielle: How much do you think this scavenger hunt cost for her to make?
Lindsay: I think a lot of people owed her favors in town.
When Abbi and Ilana eat chicken fingers for their friendiversary:
Danielle: We should do this, Lindsay! A friendiversary!
Lindsay: When we have our friendiversary can we have too much cheese?
Danielle: Yeah, but I have to wait a while before I go to sleep because you know what happens with my dreams if I have too much cheese. We have to wait for it to… wear off.
When Ilana gives Abbi the diamond necklace:
Danielle: Oh no. Abbi’s gonna lose the necklace. Something’s going to happen. WHY WOULD ILANA GIVE THIS TO ABBI?
Lindsay: They know they’re not responsible!
Danielle: She got Ilana nothing!
Lindsay: Oh no. Do you think the season’s going to end with them breaking up?
Danielle: No, no, no, no, noooooo. ABBI!
Lindsay: THINK ABOUT THIS. Their first episode this season was their friendship origin. The end is their friendship demise.
While they are on top of the Empire State building:
Danielle: It costs $1200 to get these cardboard cutouts done.
Lindsay: TWELVE!? HUNDRED!? AND THEY JUST HAVE THEM!?
Danielle: I’ve always wanted to do that?
Lindsay: Look into people’s apartments?
Danielle: NO. Have sex in a high-rise building!
When Abbi and Ilana leave the Empire State Building to fight crime:
Danielle: Where do you think this episode is going to go?
Lindsay: They’re going to end their friendship.
Danielle: I don’t know. Has the show been renewed? Did they see any blood?
Lindsay: They don’t care. There’s real crime in New York to deal with.
Danielle: It’s definitely a blow-up doll instead of a body. Wait, what if the body’s in the bag?
When Abbi and Ilana are following the man:
Danielle: Who do you think the celebrity is going to be in this episode?
Lindsay: I hope it’s Steve Buscemi again.
Danielle: How far are they going to watch him!?
Lindsay: Oh my god! Abbi is painted on Ilana’s coat!
When Abbi and Ilana sneak into the man’s apartment:
Danielle: What are they look for in there?
Lindsay: Look for clues!
Danielle: They committed a crime just now!
Lindsay: The girlfriend is going to come back after a trip and find out that he uses a blow-up doll!
Danielle: This is crazy.
When the guy goes to the movie theater:
Lindsay: Oh my god do you think he just went to the movie theater to get popcorn because it’s so good?
Danielle: She has Abbi on her jacket!
Lindsay: I said that five minutes ago.
When Abbi and Ilana realize he had a sex doll:
Danielle: I was right!
Lindsay: It was a sex doll! And he DOES enjoy the popcorn!
Planning our friendiversary:
Danielle: Do you remember the date we got coffee?
Lindsay: In January?
Danielle: It may have been in March.
Lindsay: I think it’s still in my calendar somewhere.
Danielle: Find it. Find it now!
Images and gifs via Broad City/Comedy Central
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