Today’s been a mishmash of goods and bads, to say the least. Bads: I got my wisdom teeth out and I can’t eat solid food for a few days. Goods: I finally have a medical excuse to sleep, read, drink smoothies, sleep and watch Netflix all day. Very bads: It stings like a beeyotch, and being bedridden during summer vacation is probably the worst fate a free-spirited gal like myself can endure, next to lice during summer vacation (a fate I have also suffered).
But enough about me—this post is for you, because no one should go through days like these alone. In case you ever find yourself subject to the utter wretchedness that is oral surgery (or the flu, the blahs, a bad breakup – anything really), I have compiled a list of movies, as well as what ice cream flavors would go best with them, that will hopefully distract you from your aching mouth and heart. Here are five of my faves, in no particular order:
1. Down with Love and Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie “You see, gentlemen,” Renée Zellweger’s character, the plucky, whip-smart Barbara Novak explains to a room full of male editors at a publishing company. “The female experiences a biological reaction to chocolate that triggers the same pleasurable responses as are triggered during the sex act.” The brownies in this ice cream are perfectly chewy but just soft enough. And this movie, shot in the 00’s but set in the sixties is super feminist, adorable and just perf in every way. Too sick or drugged-up for sexytime with your special someone? That’s okay, you have a threesome with Ben & Jerry to look forward to tonight.
2. The Devil Wears Prada and Starbucks’s Caramel Macchiato I’ve decided on Starbucks’s Caramel Macchiato ice cream (there being no Grande Triple Soy No-Foam Vanilla Latte ice cream) because it is straight up delicious. It’ll make you feel like a shi-shi queen bee at a fashion magazine with a lot of time and money on your hands, and assistants to do your bidding. If you’re lucky, your assistant IRL is a parent or a really nice friend. Or, it’s Seamless and Netflix. But don’t count on them going out and buying you an Hermès scarf.
3. Porco Rosso and Black Sesame ice cream This lesser-known total gem of a Miyazaki movie pairs perfectly with black sesame ice cream for a number of reasons. They’re both Japanese, I didn’t think I’d like either of them before I tried them, and they both give you inexplicably good feels on the inside. They are delicious, quirky, unexpected and all-around lovely. Instant mood boost on every level, and good for a blast of nostalgia if you grew up on Miyazaki, like I did. Side note: I couldn’t find any place that sells pints of black sesame, but you can get a cup of it here and here, or make your own!
4. Riding Giants and Häagen-Dazs’s Pineapple Coconut I’m not usually one for documentaries (especially when it’s about the beach, when I would much rather be on the beach than in bed), but this one’s a heck of a ride, pun intended. Dude, just look at the size of these WAVES. It really makes me want to slap on a wetsuit and head to South Africa for a day in the surf and a big ol’ piña colada. This movie/ice cream combo is the closest I can get, but it’s almost as delicious.
5. We Need to Talk About Kevin and Ciao Bella’s Blackberry Cabernet Sorbet If you want a movie that’ll give you the heebie-jeebies and probably haunt you for the rest of the week, this is it. Wow, is it a spine-tingler. There will be blood, and a lot of it—this I promise. This sorbet is also wickedly blood-colored, and as I’m not generally a fan of scary movies or sorbets, a rave review for these from me is high praise indeed. Kevin has all the qualities of a good scary movie, just as this fruity treat has all the qualities of a good sorbet, but both are executed in the most sophisticated way possible.
Thus concludes my short yet ever-so-important list. I wish you all health and a hot, hot summer! And tell me, chicas, what kind of movies and junk food to you like to get down with in times like these?
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