Will the real Santo Gold please call my friend Ryder.

by callie watts

SCREAM BAGS, BLOOD CIRCUS, WRESTLING, HIPSTER LAWSUITS, FAKE GOLD CHAINS, CREDIT FRAUD, ST. CLOUD FLORIDA, SPRAY BOTTLES FOR YOUR DOG… These are amongst the wonders you will find when you travel down the rabbit hole that is SANTO GOLD. A few months ago my YouTube Tzar, Alex Kaplan, informed me of this golden nugget. Wikipedia has an entry on Mr. Gold, but this entry doesn’t include the fact that he has a stalker named Ryder Ripps, who has ambushed his inbox with marriage proposals and sent 1-800-flowers to his door step in hopes to elope, and to eat cantaloupe on a Saharah hill watching the Saharah sunset. Santo is one of these rare people who wasn’t intrigued by my grip. So now I have to profess my love via Bust magazine, in hopes he reads this blog. Santo has recently been in all sorts of press, because he was sueing the singer Santo Gold, as he is the real santo gold, as professed in this beautiful rock song by THE REAL SANTO GOLD. (Video and more love from Ripps after the break.)

In between selling gated properties, Getting sued by the postal service and running the ever popular SPRAYBOTTLES.COM, this 63 year old gold chain swindler, turned rock star, turned movie producer, turned ambulance chaser and back again also runs a wonderful youtube channel, which he personally communicates to me by.

If you like what you see, and would like to touch what you see (Samurai Cop reference) than I recommend you watch all the original Santo material, just to see how it is not A ROOM it is THE ROOM.

The conclusion of the Santo Gold law suit was that other singer or whatever changed her name to Santi Gold, as the story perpetuates, Santo Gold once has embezzled 15 million dollars, now he is broke again… i was hoping the lawsuit would pan out in his favor and he would finally agree to marry me and we could be drinking diet dr pepper and eating pepper steak beef jerkey on a yaht some where docked outside near the grand canyon.

Your ominous, everywhere but nowhere, field reporter,

Ryder Ripps

(for all you without a Scream Bag, check out AAAAHHHH.COM)

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Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

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