Stupid New Milk Campaign Targets Lady Troubles

by Lisa Kirchner


Thanks to milk, your testosterone fueled other half may never have to listen to you whine again. Praises be to! Now men have somewhere to go when they need to verify their mistakes (hey guess what, you’re always 100 percent wrong!), build an apology video (featuring every girl’s favorite things–hearts, chocolate chip cookies and cats), and sensitize their vocabulary (get cracking boys, you’re going to need to come up with more than “instead of irrational, try passionate,” just a hunch). Woo! Victory is yours!

Let’s look at this genius campaign. Based on some study that now allows us to say “drinking two servings of milk per day may reduce the severity of PMS,” the kids at Goodby, Silverstein & Partners in San Francisco went apeshit and designed an over-the-top interactive website. Here are some of their headlines:

•“I’m sorry I listened to what you said and not what you meant.”

•“We can both blame myself.”

•“I’m sorry for the thing or things I did or didn’t do.”

•“I apologize for not reading between the right lines.”

•“Let’s agree to disagree with me.”

The company claims they were going for humor. Haha! Get it? Like, if you don’t you just have no sense of humor you nasty hag! 

There hasn’t been the huge media outcry you might expect–the by-product of a post holiday launch, perhaps? The New York Times treatment was so bland you’d hardly guess this was a hot topic. Or worse, are we afraid of being branded “pre-menstrual,” and therefore totally dismissable? Because everyone knows, when a lady gets angry, there can’t be any reason for it. She must be about to get her period. 

Wow, I better go drink some milk quick and hope my cycle is on the way!





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