Now that it’s not copacetic to throw the V-word around in the realm of American government, I decided to go ahead and make a short list of places where it is okay to use the word “vagina.” Feel free to use this as a guide so that you don’t startle any unexpected listeners. We don’t know what the free use of anatomical terms could lead to, but some possibilities are: maturity, correctness, tolerance and, of course, anarchy.
1) The street. It’s totally cool to use the word vagina when you’re walking down the street having a conversation. I haven’t had the time to check the law in all fifty states, but as far as I know, there is no legislation specifically against referring to lady parts in the anatomically correct sense. So congratulations, everyone, and do continue those in-depth conversations about the Vagina Monologues en route to your next destination.
2) Parks. Something about greenery, picnics, and swingsets just makes you want to yell “VAGINA!” right? Maybe not. But I do know from the movie (500) Days of Summer that it’s no thing to scream “penis” at the top of your lungs, so I propose a new game. Try copying this scene from the movie, but sub the word “vagina” for the film’s dialogue. Let me know if you get arrested or accosted by a Michigan congressman.
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y18gCKL3CIY 425×344]3) Television. Interestingly enough, while considered vulgar in the House of Representatives, it’s still not considered a curse word to say “vagina” on TV. For those who don’t believe in this insanity, see the below clip for a TV moment that did indeed occur which employs the word at question.
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3z652fblO0 425×344]If you’re looking for a different term to use instead of this hot-button word, try checking out this clip of the Girls season finale for a reasonable alternative. So not vulgar.
4) Pretty much everywhere ever. In the process of making this list, I came to a shocking conclusion: there’s not really anything particularly wrong in using the word vagina. In any given situation, it seems way more okay to refer to it as such than to use a childish term of deference or a sexualized nickname. Weird.
(Image via The Washington Post)
