John Oliver Has A Solution For How Donald Trump Can Redeem Himself

by Katherine Barner

On Last Week Tonight, Oliver dropped a simple solution for Mr. Donald Trump: Drop out. Beyond the obvious fact that this means we would definitely not have “a racist voodoo doll made of discarded cat hair” (thank you, John Oliver, for that little gem) as our president, Oliver says this is the best way for Trump to make himself an actual legend instead of America’s punchline. 

“It seems that you have two really bad options here,” says Oliver. “If you keep going, you’re going to spend the next 11 weeks ramping up hatred in speeches, injecting poison into the American bloodstream that will take generations to remove, and denying the country the contest of ideas that the presidential campaign should actually be. And after that, you’re either going to win or you’re going to lose and I think both of those scenarios end pretty badly for you. Which is why I would like to propose to you a third option. And that is drop out. Simply drop out and tell America this entire candidacy was a stunt, a satire designed to expose the flaws in the system.”

Oliver illustrates all the ways Trump actually has exposed the flaws of our system through his candidacy. He has literally gotten billions of dollars worth of free air time because of the constant stream of verbal diarrhea spewing from his mouth. He has repeatedly insulted minorities and rallied far too many Americans behind him to support his racism. He has insulted everyone from veterans to babies, and yet he’s still landed one of two tickets from a major party in this election.

According to recent polls, Trump is likely to lose epically. He said himself he would be incredibly embarrassed if he lost to “crooked Hillary,” so dropping out is really his only choice to avoid this.

“Just think about how triumphant it would feel to say on national television, ‘I openly ran on a platform of impossibly ignorant proposals steeped in racial bigotry and nobody stopped me. In fact, you embraced me for it. What the fuck was that about?’” Oliver asks. “That would be one of the most powerful political speeches of all time. If you drop out in order to teach America a lesson, you would not be a loser. You would be a legend.”

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