Last night I went to a party for the 25th Anniversary of G-Shock Watches. Spike Lee was a speaker and Kanye West performed. Spike looked old and bored but managed to crack a couple jokes. Kanye looked amazing and sucked ass. I have never really been into Kanye but I thought maybe he could win me over with his live performance. Nope!
creep this way fo mo Kanye hate:
Since I am a shorty that meant I couldn’t really see him, but he was just sitting in a chair so who cares anyway. It reminded me of when I went to see the Backstreet Boys with my high school gay boyfriend and they sat on stoles most of the time. I did like the topless girls in astronaut helmets that wiggled next to Kanye, that really was a nice touch.
photo from Laced Magazine.
Once he finally got out of the chair he was bursting with energy and was really giving it. That is until he forgot the words in the middle of a song and just kept repeating the hook trying to jar his memory. Then he kicked some really slow, wack freestyle. I could spit fire rings around him! I was taking notes and someone that was working the event (who shall remain nameless) asked what I was writing, I showed him my notepad: “Notes on Kanye: Sometimes Gallagher has a lot of energy but that doesn’t make him funny.” The dude apparently loved that and hated Kanye, so he offered me his “no-stop pass” so I could creep onstage and steal the mic. Of course I was game! I made my way pass all the security and as soon as I put one foot onto the platform that was before the platform that was before the stage I got turned around with the “Who are you with?” Well, since there were no plus ones I found that to be a silly question, “no one just like everyone else.” That seemed to really confuse security. Going to parties alone is real hit or miss. I ended up running into some friends and met a couple hot boys. It was real grown and sexy style. The highlight for me, of course, was full open bar which translates into me drinking Chambord and Champaign all night and posting by the door where they brought out the banging party food. Some food highlights: raw tuna on tortilla chips, mini empanadas, mini pizza, mini cheeseburger and mini BLTs! The free food was endless. I got a pretty sweet watch too, but it is like a bangle on me (which is actually kind of a hot look). It is all white with gold accents and it is unbreakable, which is exactly what I need in my life, more unbreakable things.
I wish they had some Baby-Gs, their line for women. I went to their site and can’t even figure out how to look at the Baby-G styles. Lil more love for the ladies please. So in short: I will put up with Kanye West pretending to be the greatest rapper in the world for free food and drinks. I’m going to make it official, Kanye I challenge you to a battle! If he ever reads this he’ll probably get all butt hurt and vow never to let me or anyone I know into a Kanye show again. I do however really like his blog. You can watch some of the unimpressive performance here.
