Girls Actually Want To Marry Van der Sloot

by Debbie Stoller

Q: Exactly how many women does a guy need to brutally murder before he’s considered unsuited for marriage?

A: More than two, apparently. 

According to the Associated Press, 22 year-old murder suspect, Joran van der Sloot has been bragging to reporters about how many marriage proposals he’s gotten from ladies while awaiting trial in a Peruvian prison. 

“One of them even wants me to get her pregnant,” he told De Telegraaf newspaper.  

Van der Sloot is facing a possible sentence of 15 to 35 years if convicted of murdering Natalee Holloway back in 2005 and 21 year-old Peruvian Stephany Flores in May.   

He’s made and retracted several confessions of involvement in Holloway’s disappearance and despite having confessed to the murder of Flores, his lawyer is now trying to argue that it wasn’t valid because of some legal technicality.  

Van der Sloot’s mother Anita has recently said that her son suffers from mental problems (duh!).  

Now, I realize that he’s not a bad looking fella. You might even say he’s got that whole bad-ass thing going for him. 

I also know that women sending convicted murders love letters in prison is hardly a new thing (it turns out Scott Peterson was quite a pimp in prison too).  

But he’s a lunatic who picks up women at casinos and kills them for no reason!! 

Ugh. Bitches be crazy!

[Image: AP]

You may also like

Get the print magazine.

The best of BUST in your inbox!

Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

About Us

Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

©2023 Street Media LLC.  All Right Reserved.