The entire Democratic debate on CNN was an intellectual oasis in the desert of nonsense that is the Republican primary. Aided by Anderson Cooper’s sharp moderating, the candidates managed to step outside their talking points, and talk like humans with nuanced thoughts on complicated issues. Though we are still fairly set on Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton, we here at BUST were unable to come to a consensus on a “winner.” But we have plenty of time to decide. So for now, let’s all just luxuriate together on the five best moments from the debate.
1. Hillary Clinton’s “Fuck You” To Haters of Planned Parenthood
Though she wasn’t asked specifically about Planned Parenthood, but about paid family leave, Clinton was quick to pound her fists about the Republican hypocrisy of opposing big government when women need reproductive care, but simultaneously loving big government sticking its giant government dick into women’s vaginas and then shaming them for having dicks in their vaginas.
2. “Ya damn emails!”
It was a moment so perfectly and organically profane and exasperated, so very uncommon outside political fiction television and state legislatures. The audience practically wet itself from excitement, and his subsequent handshake with Clinton was the cherry on that sweet, sweet emotional outburst.
3. Clinton’s glorious “No”
Still basking in the post-coital-esque glow of her and Sanders’s blunt rejection of fluff that was so wildly popular with the audience, Clinton could not deal with how delicious that “no” tasted. Hugh Grant knows how she feels:
4. Sanders Emphasizing War As A Last Resort
When asked under what circumstances would he use military force, Sanders had this to say:
“I am the former chairman, Anderson, of the Senate Veterans Committee. And in that capacity, I learned a very powerful lesson about the cost of war. And I will do everything that I can to make sure that the United States does not get involved in another quagmire like we did in Iraq; the worst foreign policy blunder in the history of this country.”
He talked about building coalitions over unilateral U.S. action. He stressed diplomacy over reactionary violence. Candidates’ military policies, perhaps more than any other campaign issue, never look the way they sound on the campaign trail so the gap between this paradigm and the reality of President Bernie Sanders foreign policy could be painfully wide. But for now, I choose to be optimistic.
5. Everything about Anderson Cooper
Every time, Anderson Cooper didn’t let the candidates evasively bloviate answers to pointed questions. Such as when Sanders was asked under what circumstances he would use military force, and he went off on Clinton about the Syrian no-fly zone proposal, and about the hindsight wisdom of the foreign policy failures of the Bush administration. All good points but none that answered the question, and Cooper interrupted and told him to answer the question. And especially including the champion handshake between Sanders and Clinton; when the audience wouldn’t stop screaming their approval, Cooper was like “No but actually, answer the question.” Cooper’s did his job perfectly – saving America from itself by not letting us get distracted by the sexy, picturesque moments that ultimately tell us very little.
Images via CNN (screenshot)
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