RuPaul, of all people, should know the value of a climax. So why then was last night’s “finale“of RuPaul’s Drag Race so unbelievably anti-climactic? Because they didn’t announce a winner! Ugh, this show. I think we all sort of saw this coming, because the title of the episode was “The Final Three,” but still. If the prospect of finally finding out what Willam did wasn’t enough to drum up an audience for the reunion episode next week, this definitely is.
For the final challenge, the remaining contestants starred in a music video for RuPaul’s song “Glamazon.” Sharon accurately described their costumes as “1950s B-horror movies meets an issue of Italian Vogue.” The drag queens’ strange, convoluted descriptions of their outfits are far and away the best part of this show. For another example, see Chad’s description of her final runway look: “Versace-inspired, with some Jane Fonda in Barbarella.” If only this were how the rest of us conceptualized our clothing when getting dressed in the morning.
Seasons 2 and 3 winners Tyra Sanchez and Raja briefly appeared to coach the ladies on their acting skills while Sharon, Chad, and Phi Phi took turns having “dinner” with Ru. All the teary-eyed emotional confessions for some reason inspired Chad to apologize to Phi Phi for being mean, which in turn inspired Phi Phi to say that they’re all family. What is going on here?! Did they collectively forget the entire season prior to this? It was like watching an episode of Glee.
At the runway show, Sharon brought her goth originality to an outfit that utilized her signature zombie contacts and tentacle fingers. I was certain this would do her in, partially because she called it “succubus ready-to-wear,” but the judges loved it. Michelle said Phi Phi looks like “the side piece Fred Flintstone was knocking boots with.” Whatever, Phi Phi is still the worst. All three queens had to lip sync to RuPaul’s “Glamazon,” and they were all pretty good. Maybe this cliffhanger only happened because Ru actually couldn’t choose a winner. Or maybe Ru has seen the error of her ways and has decided to bring back Latrice Royale for a surprise coup next week. Either way, we’ll be here to keep you posted, all the while hoping that Phi Phi gets a stiletto to the face.