We’re bringing you this Q&A from BUST’s print magazine’s Sex Files, featuring advice from sexlogist Dr. Carol Queen.
As I’ve gotten older, it’s become much easier (and almost unavoidable) to ejaculate when I come. However, it’s also way easier to accidentally pee when I sneeze! Are they related? And does this mean I need to do more Kegels? –Whiz Kid
Yes and yes! You’re experiencing life in a body that has learned a pleasurable response that you are probably pretty good at ensuring by now, having had some practice. You may be experiencing the effects of the G-spot’s proximity to the bladder. The G-spot, or prostata femina if you want to get scientific, is right below the trigone, the roughly triangular bottom of the bladder where the urethra emerges to carry urine out of the body. The G-spot itself consists of glandular tissue wrapped around the urethra right underneath the bladder.
The second factor could be weakened pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. These surround the area and the entire pelvic floor, and they can be weakened by aging, childbirth, or other factors, thus resulting in urine leakage.
Enter Kegel exercises, which are designed to strengthen your muscles and put a stop to those pesky pee leaks. (A stronger pelvic floor can also add to your orgasmic pleasure.) Find your PC muscles by stopping a stream of urine in mid-flow. Once you fully empty your bladder, practice tightening and relaxing rhythmically. My colleague the pelvic floor therapist suggests 30 reps a day for good PC health, although techniques vary. Don’t skip the relaxation part! Overly tight muscles can cause problems.
You can also use vaginal balls to strengthen these muscles, or get high tech with a smart Kegel exerciser that lets you track your progress using an app. (BUST reviewed the Elvie, available at Elvie.com, in the February/March 2016 issue.) You can do reps without something in the vagina, but many people like the sensation and also find the exercises easier to do with a resistive device.
The PC muscles aren’t the only things involved in keeping your panties dry. The urinary sphincter may become weak, too; it happens to many women in the course of pregnancy and childbirth. Conditions that make you cough a lot exacerbate this, and alcohol may irritate the sphincter and make this more likely.
If getting busy with Kegels doesn’t completely resolve your urinary stress incontinence, you may wish to see a doctor. Be forewarned that some docs have learned literally zip about the G-spot and may describe your ability to ejaculate as a form of urinary stress incontinence, too! Ideally, see a doctor who can look at your situation with some nuance. You could also just invest in some newfangled pee-proof underwear—Icon (IconUndies.com) seems to be the hippest brand.
Carol Queen’s latest book (written with Shar Rednour) is The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.
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This article originally appeared in the October/November 2018 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!
Top photo: Tina Franklin/Flickr Creative Commons
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