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What’s Your September Sex Horoscope?

by BUST Magazine

Hey baby, what’s your sign? Check out our astrological advice for ladies looking to get laid for August and September 2017, by astrologist Sonia Ortiz (and illustrated by Ada Buchholc).

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Leo
July 23 to Aug. 22
Jupiter squares Pluto on August 4th, which will make you feel kinkier than usual. Be adventurous well before the 12th, when Mercury goes retrograde; you don’t want any mishaps! Things settle and get more down-to-earth on September 19 when Venus enters Virgo. By the time Mercury goes direct on September 5, you’ll know exactly what you need from your partner/s.

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Virgo
Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
If you’re dating multiple people, beware of texting accidents once Mercury goes retro, and try not to commit unless the messenger goes direct. Once Mercury enters your sign on September 9, you’ll be ready to communicate your needs in every way. Things also get more romantic on September 9 when Venus takes up residence in your sign, but don’t let it bog you down with routine.

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Libra
Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
You’ll be compelled to walk on eggshells around your crush once Mercury goes retrograde, but don’t fret – the solar eclipse on August 21st will give you courage and an excellent seduction strategy. Mercury enters your sign on September 29, which will help you settle the dust of what you want in a lover versus what you need.

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Scorpio
Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Mercury retrograde will leave you doubting your partner, but you may regret it if you cut them off too soon. The full moon on September 6 will have some major effects on you. Your physical connection to your honey will determine if you want to hit it or quit it. Luckily, you’ll also be able to figure out how to pleasure their erogenous zones better than ever before.

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Sagittarius
Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Prepare for old flames to come back into the picture during Mercury retrograde. While you may feel the temptation to see if they’ve still got it, resist the urge. The solar eclipse will help shed light on your feelings, and you’ll tell them to all get lost. Things get less dramatic when Jupiter opposes Uranus on September 28.

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Capricorn
Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Are you dating a hero or a zero? You may need to reconsider and re-evaluate your own self worth. September will bring you a new relationship and adventures that will make you wonder why you even bothered with scumbags in the first place. You’ll want to pin your new boo down ASAP, but don’t pressure them; use your charms to keep them right where you want them.

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Aqaurius
Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
The full moon on August 7 will make you sexually adventurous, but be careful – trying a new carnal experience during Mercury retrograde can make things weird for everyone involved, or even result in injury. You might want to get domestic at the end of September, when Jupiter opposes Uranus. Your desire to get intimate will only strengthen your feelings.

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Pisces
Feb. 19 to Mar. 20
You’ll come out of your shell when the solar eclipse combines with the new moon in Virgo on August 21. The full moon in your sign on September 6 will give you an extra psychic boost, so astral project into the arms of your lover for a truly unforgettable experience, or conjure some full moon candle magic for otherworldly bliss.

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Aries
Mar. 21 to Apr. 19
Your post-coital bedside manner will keep your partner devoted even during Mercury retrograde, and love will play a dominant role into September when Venus enters Virgo. Don’t be surprised if you end up taking things to the next level with your partner, maybe even moving in together. If single, you’ll get a confidence boost after Mercury retrograde and will attract partners like crazy.

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Taurus
Apr. 20 to May 20
Keep your love life private during August. You and your sweetheart should be wary of third parties who ask too many questions. Your romance gets a boost on September 9, when Mercury enters Virgo. Vocalize your physical needs to your partner and try spicing things up with some role-playing to really take the edge off any drama from the month before.

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Gemini
May 21 to June 20
Mercury, your ruling planet, will throw you for an extra loop when it goes retrograde. You’ll also have extra charisma this month that will make you irresistible. Yes, things will be difficult to manage, but make-up sex will be your go-to for August. Don’t be surprised if people come out of the woodwork professing their undying devotion and attraction to you once Venus hits Virgo.

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Cancer
June 21 to July 22
Mercury retrograde may set the stage for a major breakup that will lead to an equally major upgrade. Don’t be surprised if you end up hooking up with a friend on the down low. Things relax on September 19 when Venus enters Virgo; you’ll have a more toned-down approach to love and sex, and you’ll realize some adventures are not worth the drama.

BY SONIA ORTIZ
ILLUSTRATED BY ADA BUCHHOLC

This article originally appeared in the August/September 2017 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!

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Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

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