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Chelsea Handler Read Tucker Carlson to Filth During Second Show as Guest Host on ‘The Daily Show,’ and It was Amazing

by Emily Lauletta

The Daily Show should really win some sort of award for how many iconic guest hosts they’re giving us. First up was Leslie Jones, folllowed by Wanda Sykes, and the amazing lineup continued this week with guest host Chelsea Handler!

Handler began her first show on Monday by stating, “This is where I get to spend a week talking shit about all the whack jobs and hot messes out there, but I do it sitting behind a desk because I’m a professional.” And so far, she has delivered on that promise and gifted us some professional-level shit-talking. 

Handler started the Headlines portion of the show by discussing the recent controversy around the Chinese spy balloon that floated through the skies last weekend. The balloon has been described as being as large as three school buses, and Handler joked, “And for the rich people out there who don’t know what a bus is, they’re those big yellow vehicles that bring all of Matt Gaetz’s girlfriends to school.” Handler also provided some tips to China on how they could improve next time and make sure the balloon avoided our gaze, stating, “If you’re gonna make it white, at least write “the moon” on it.”

Handler had many other great bits during her first episode. Following her discussion on the spy balloon by talking about congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green’s recent statements about her unhappiness working as a congresswoman. Green made a public complaint on how people come up to her on the street and accost her with false information they read on the internet. Handler commented on Green’s remarks by stating what we all were thinking, “Well if that’s not the pot calling the kettle QAnon.”

Another greatest hit from the episode includes an incredible bit from Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan on the record temperatures being experienced by those in the US northeast over the weekend. Sloan pretended to be in bed after Handler had asked her to go to the top of a mountain in the northeast to report on the record temps. Sloan responded to Handler by saying there was no need for her to go outside when she could just ask her Uber Eats driver, then proceeded to “text her Uber Eats driver”, “What’s up with that mountain is it cold as shit?”

Next, Handler interviewed Georgia Senator Raphael Warnock. The two discussed his new children’s book Put Your Shoes on and Get Ready, and Handler jokingly asked, “Did you write a children’s book so Herschel Walker would be able to read it?” They then went on to discuss the importance of voting rights and bipartisanship. Warnock noted how important it is to try to find common ground in order to “get the work done.”

Handler’s second show was equally delightful, partly because she started off with a brutal (and hilarious) roast of Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson. Carlson recently complained on his TV show that Biden was appointing too many Black women to federal judge positions. Handler responded to his racist and sexist complaint by stating, “I wish Tucker Carlson would go back to talking about which M&Ms he likes to fuck.” That wasn’t the only jab Handler made at Carlson, as she also went on to say, “Maybe if your inbred fingers could work a calculator, you would see that the reason that Biden is nominating so many Black women is to make up for men having a 200-year head start. Even after Biden’s appointments, there are only 44 Black women serving as federal judges out of 784,” and ended her roast with a grand finale one-liner “And this raises a more important question Tucker, which is why are you always such a whiny little bitch.”

Handler then moved on to more hilarious commentaries, including one on the recent controversy surrounding the new Skims micro-bikini. Skims is a shapewear brand developed by Kim Kardashian, and her newest product, a micro-bikini said to have been made for any body, can barely cover the size of a Trader Joe’s tortilla chip. After Handler’s roast of the bikini, she ends the segment with “Anyway, I bought one.”

Handler then brought out fellow comedians Sam Jay, Matteo Lane, and Larry Owens to cover some more trending headlines. The group discussed Leonardo DiCaprio’s newest way-too-young-girlfriend. Matteo Lane imagined a phone call between the two of them, chiming in, “He’s on set, he’s dealing with agents, he’s in some movie, and then he’s like how’s your day, and she’s like “ugh my lockermate’s the worst.” Another headline discussed was the 9-year-old prodigy, David Balogun, who made the news for graduating high school 9 years early. In this story, Handler hilariously commented, “This kid is annoying the shit out of me.”

Handler closed out her second show with an interview with model and body-positive influencer Ashley Graham. The two discussed normalizing breastfeeding in public, including on Instagram, and the importance of not telling people how to parent, or how they should be feeding their kids. 

Handler’s first two shows were a huge success in our book, and we’re so excited to see who she will be shit-talking (in a professional manner) next! You can catch Handler’s last two shows on February 8th and 9th on Comedy Central at 11 PM ET. Be sure to also tune in next week to watch comedian Sarah Silverman helm the famous desk.

Top Photo: Comedy Central’s The Daily Show

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