America is number one… at being made fun of by the world these past few weeks. As all of humanity digests the human-sized Cheeto they have been force-fed, many countries are taking to parody and satire à la The Daily Show to express their feelings about Trump and his “Make America Great Again” ethos.
The video satire trend that sarcastically concedes first place to America while asking for second place was initiated by The Netherlands with their introduction video addressed to Mr Trump and his “from now on it will be only America first” comment. Soon after, many countries followed suit creating their own videos that compare their similarities to the U.S.
Amongst many things, The Netherlands’ video boasts about how they killed off the Spanish and built an entire ocean between them and Mexico– “which is so big you can see from the moon.”
It then moves into dicey territory when mentioning Jetta Klijnsma, their labor party representative who is afflicted with spastic legs, which Trump can “make fun of.”
Perhaps the most self-critical comparison was that of casual racism. In Holland, it takes shape in the “tradition of Black Pete”, a Dutch Chrismas character which dons blackface and performs minstrel acts in the streets: “It is the most offensive, most racist thing you’ve ever seen. You’ll love it. It’s great.” The backwards gaze of Trump no doubt misses such displays of offensive ignorance. Kazakhstan’s video chimes in here to saying, “we love our black community, because we don’t have one,” and going on to explain they have many unwanted Russians–“the best amount of Russians in the world.” Lithuania’s also lacks a black population but they mention their hit DJ Ten Walls and his exceptional homophobia, which of course, Trump would love.
Germany was next, it’s video having less production value but just as much irony, comparing Trump to their “great” leader Hitler, who had the “best hair, best suits and his book was a best seller.” Ridiculing Trump’s childlike superlative language is a common device used across all these videos. On a deeper level, seeing ‘America First, Germany Second’, is quite chilling and delivers the message that history can so easily repeat itself when fueled by the mob mentality of patriotic ego.
Kazakhstan’s video has some foreboding baked in it as it describes it’s “great leader” President Nursultan Nazarbayev who has been in power for 27 years–“the amount of time the country has been out of the soviet union.” The video takes to the president’s Wikipedia page which states that presidential terms are 5 years long but “the first President is excluded from that rule” although, “Fuck that. If the President is great, why fire him right?”
Lithuania reminds Trump that it is in the center of Europe and defeated “those nasty Germans before it was trendy” and that their President is a woman: “It’s ridiculous! She won election against male candidates. Twice! Total disgrace!” But, they also remind Trump that they were the first European country to impeach their president because he was “too friendly with Russians”, which yielded “good ratings” but was “bad for business.” I wonder if Trump would stage his own impeachment if it would give good ratings? Should that be the carrot we dangle on the stick?
Milk toast Belgium did not have much to boast or gripe about so it claimed ABBA as theirs, you know because #alternativefacts.
Switzerland only allowed women to vote since 1971 and in many ways the “pioneer” of Brexit, by never joining the EU. It also “doesn’t want [our] money… it has it already in all its banks.” These are afew of Trumps’ favorite things.
Portugal’s news show 5 Till Midnight didn’t quite capture the satirical essence, preferring straight-up insult, calling American football foolish and stating that soccer players don’t use helmets because they “aren’t pussies.” It did, however, mention that their president is also a TV personality which Trump “would love.”
The commonality in these videos is how they address Trump like a toddler and appeal to his proclivities such as: tax evasion, suggesting Trump move his (cough) his son’s businesses there, the different types of “walls” keeping immigrants out (in India it is the Himalayas) and love for the color orange.
Here are some of the videos. Rejoice.
The Netherlands
Germany
Denmark
Kazakhstan
Lithuania
Belgium
Switzerland
Portugal
Top Image: Gage Skidmore
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