On February 8th, her third night serving as a guest host for The Daily Show, Chelsea Handler touched on the topic of childless women. During the recurring “Long Story Short” segment, Handler opened by saying, “One thing I’ve made abundantly clear is that I do not want children,” putting emphasis on those last five words, “I say it on stage, I say it in interviews, it’s the first thing I say to myself in the mirror when I wake up each morning right before I tell myself, ‘god, you’re a dynamic woman.’” She continues with, “…there are millions of women just like me, but for some reason every single one of us at some point in our lives is shamed by society for not wanting a baby…”
A few days later, on Feb 10th, a TikTok video was posted by both Handler and The Daily Show that lets viewers in on “a day in the life of a childless woman.”
Just another child-free day.
It could have been taken as a great moment of childless visibility, but of course the right-wing punditry was heavily triggered and could not leave it alone (although, truth be told, it’s 100% possible that Handler was out-and-out baiting them and their predictably misogynistic views).
As a result, Handler shared another TikTok on her social media that’s a compilation of right-wing talking heads sharing their pathetic outrage at the comedic skit–which at one point suggests Handler has so much free time being childless that she experiences enlightenment and develops time travel. In the video, Tucker Carlson says about the skit, “The point is to make you feel good about being an aging, deeply unlikable woman who never had kids.” For someone who named their child Buckley, advice on parenthood is falling on deaf ears, for me, personally.
In the same compilation, conservative radio talk-show host Jesse Kelly says, “…feminists like Chelsea Handler, they’ve been lied to by their society forever that you could be a girl boss, and you can do anything a man can do–which everyone who’s ever seen a woman back up a vehicle knows that’s not true.” You hear that, ladies? Equality is ours as soon as we learn how to back up our cars. If I had known sooner I would have been practicing.
There’s also a clip of Ben Shapiro demonstrating the apparent extent of his vocabulary by saying, “This lady [Handler] is miserable. I mean she is miserable. It’s written all over her face how miserable she is…” The clip is interrupted by Handler exhaling a puff of weed smoke, joint in hand and looking decidedly comfortable as she points out, “Why would I even need my own children when I get to hear these crybabies all the time?”
She continues by not-so-subtly listing off her substantial accolades–including a fat bank account, six bestselling books, and a Netflix special–before saying, “You guys seemed so triggered by me. I mean, my goodness, Tucker [Carlson]. I think it is time for you to ask yourself a serious question: Are you really upset about how much freedom I have, or are you upset that you haven’t been able to take it away from me yet?” Unfortunately, that sick burn is almost certainly going to go right over his head.
Handler ended the video by promising Tucker she’d keep making videos that “trigger” him if he wants to keep responding to them, because, as she says, “I think we both know that you are hate-masturbating to me, and I’m down with that.”
Listening to the tired, recycled vitriol that conservative pundits spew about women and their personal life choices can be exhausting, but Chelsea Handler proved they are no match for her snarky wit and sense of humor. If you want to hear more from the comedian, she recently announced a new tour, the Little Big Bitch Tour, kicking off in April with tickets on sale now.
And check out BUST’s coverage of the amazing roster of funny celebrities who have also been recent guest-hosts for The Daily Show (including Wanda Sykes, Leslie Jones and Sarah Silverman), which airs weeknights on Comedy Central and is available to stream next-day on Paramount+.
Top photo is a screenshot from The Daily Show YouTube