Astrology is something that has always fascinated us. Horoscopes have popularly run in newspapers and magazines for decades, and is something people often turn to for advice on money, career, and, of course, relationships. In fact, the topics of love and sex are easily the things people want to know about most. How often have you had a friend wonder about the compatibility between their sign and someone they’re interested in? How often have you wondered?
While it’s true that the birth chart can reveal much about the dynamics between ourselves and our partner(s),did you know it can also tell you what you like in bed? That’s right! Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about your desires, kinks, turn ons and offs, how you pursue or like to be pursued, and how you express your sexuality are all sitting right there in your chart, thanks to a branch known as erotic astrology.
Erotic astrology – often referred to as “sextrology” – is exactly what it sounds like: the intersection of sex and astrology. When looking at the chart through this lens, we can discover a lot about who we are and what we want in and outside of the bedroom. We can learn how to be better partners, lovers, and friends when we educate ourselves on these aspects of our loved ones, too. Remember that relationships are a two-way street (or more, if you practice any form of non-monogamy).
This article, however, is going to focus on the first and seventh houses, and offer up some tips on what to try in the bedroom when you’re looking to switch things up.
The axis of the first and seventh houses in the birth chart, also known as the Ascendant and Descendant, is the relationship axis. It’s where we look at the self vs. others and seek to achieve balance and harmony between the two.
The Ascendant, also known as your rising sign, plays a very important role in the birth chart – whether looking at it through the lens of sextrology, or just astrology in general. The Ascendant is determined by the sign whose constellation was rising on the eastern horizon at the time you were born. This is why knowing your exact birth time is so important – and you’re going to need to know your rising sign for this article. It is THE determining factor of the Ascendant, which then determines the entire layout of your chart. Without the correct time, everything gets screwed up real fast.
The Ascendant has everything to do with our identity. It is the way we show up in the world. It’s our beliefs, the face we readily wear and put forward, and it has a lot to do with the way we look. In short, the first house in the chart is the only house that’s just you. Everything else is everything (and everyone) else, but the first house is solely us. In the case of erotic astrology, the Ascendant describes the way we like to show up in the bedroom. It’s the qualities we take on when getting it on.
The seventh house, on the other hand, is the literal and figurative opposite of us: it is the house of Others. This house grapples with things like marriage, committed partnerships, and all of our close, one-on-one intimate relationships.
Generally speaking, it describes the characteristics we are attracted to where partners are concerned – especially long-term ones. Because of this, it’s very common to end up with someone who has strong placements in the sign of your Descendant, though it isn’t a guarantee. The sign that rules your seventh house can also describe the quality or nature of your serious relationships.
Because this is the energy we look for in others, we don’t typically think of the Descendant as having much to do with us. But I’m going to challenge you to take on the energy of the sign that rules your seventh house the next time you’re looking to get laid. Not sure what that means? Here are some keywords for each of the signs.
If your rising sign is in:
Aries: you are nothing if not bold and direct as hell. You’re passionate and love the thrill of the chase or pursuit. You may even view the person of your desires to be something you need to conquer in some way. Because of this, you’re probably dominant in bed. Try on a bit of submission instead. Let yourself be pursued for once. You might also try being more of a giver in the bedroom, and/or prioritizing the pleasure of your partner first, as is the nature of your Libra Descendant. If you’re feeling extra experimental, you might also try butt stuff! Libra rules over the ass.
Taurus: slow and steady is the name of your game. Bless your heart, but you tend to take one million years to actually make a move. It’s true that you possess an innate sensuality and stamina, but you also don’t like change. Once you’ve found what you like, you stick to it. Try being more bold and direct. Make the first move for once! Let the passion in you emerge and be courageous about it. Your Scorpio Descendant is unafraid that way. Let real desire take over and step into the driver’s seat.
Gemini: there is a fluidity to your nature that often has you putting yourself in other people’s shoes and being open to trying all kinds of new things. You also enjoy (and maybe even need) some serious mental stimulation in order to keep your attention and get yourself going. Still, you tend to be a giver and do whatever the other person wants. Try being direct about what you like instead; actually commit to it. Be open to the actual experience instead of just talking about it. Try grabbing hold of hips and thighs, as these are the parts of the body ruled by your Sagittarius Descendant.
Cancer: yours is a sweet nature. It’s also a self-protective one that can sometimes manifest as being downright shy. It can take you a while to open up, as you first need to make sure the person and/or situation is safe. The emotional connection is also a crucial one where sex is concerned. Try taking on a more dominant or active role instead. Your Capricorn Descendant is in charge, and likes to assert its control. Consistency also falls in their wheelhouse, and embracing that instead of going off your moodiness could be mighty helpful. You might also want to try a little BDSM.
Leo: it’s no secret that you love attention. In fact, you may even want your partner to be a little bit obsessed with you. That’s okay because you make up for it with plenty of playfulness, passion, and a very direct way of sharing your feelings and desires. You know what you like, and you aren’t afraid to ask for it. Try embracing a more detached nature instead. More than any other descendant, your Aquarius seventh house wants you to embrace experimentation and to push yourself outside of the box. Everything unconventional and avant garde falls into Aquarius’ domain, so try getting a little kinky and doing something totally unexpected and new.
Virgo: you take a very pragmatic approach to sex. It’s likely you view it as just another part of a healthy, well rounded routine when it comes to taking care of your body. You aren’t one to kiss and tell, and you may even exert a bit of control around your desires. Try embracing a little bit of fantasy and romance instead. Allow yourself to get lost in the possibility, and be a little more open and fluid when it comes to sex. Break out of your routine and try role-playing or submitting to the desires of your partner. Your Pisces Descendant loves a little mystique and allure.
Libra: yours is a charming nature, and one that sees you prioritizing partnership. Because of this, there is a more receptive energy when it comes to sex. You like to be pursued, and you also like to give. Try on the more dominant role for once. Be direct and bold about your interest in someone and/or desire to have sex. Try topping. Try taking control. Be more selfish in the bedroom. Your Aries Descendant doesn’t waste time or beat around the bush, and neither should you.
Scorpio: passion is the name of your game. Without it, there is little interest, if any interest at all. You’re extremely physical by nature, and need the fire of desire to burn strong. Despite your normally private demeanor, you can actually be quite bold when it comes to sex. Try taking things slower, and allowing the time and space for real intimacy to be established. Try creating a sensual atmosphere that stimulates all of your senses, not just your genitals. Let things burn slow, instead of like a bonfire. It’s what your Taurus Descendant wants. Try kissing the neck and grabbing the throat, gently, as Taurus rules over this area of the body.
Sagittarius: you’re very clear about what you want, what you like, what you don’t, and you simply do not have time for people who don’t understand that. You’re pretty much down for whatever, as long as it’s fun. You don’t have time to waste. Instead, try putting yourselves in your partner’s shoes and be open to trying what they want instead. Let things progress a little slower and start with dirty talk in your texts throughout the day. Let foreplay begin way before you get to the bedroom. Your Gemini Descendant wants to talk about it, and gets turned on in their head before they ever do in their body. Try 69-ing, too, as Gemini loves giving and receiving head.
Capricorn: yours is a reserved nature. You’re very serious, and likely harbor some traditional views when it comes to sex – in traditional gender roles, perhaps, or you may feel like your decision around a partner needs to make practical sense. You also like to be in control and/or in charge. Try relinquishing control and allowing yourself to receive instead. Embrace a softer approach that prioritizes the emotional connection alongside the physical. Create an atmosphere of safety that allows real intimacy to be present, just the way your Cancer Descendant likes it. Try rubbing your partner’s stomach, or grabbing their breasts (if relevant) as these are ruled by Cancer.
Aquarius: cool detachment is your calling card. There’s something about you that is aloof and difficult to pin down or open up. You also tend to prioritize friendship over romance, and, honestly, you might sleep with a lot of your friends. Try letting real romantic love be your motivating factor instead. Your Leo Descendant is bold in love, and tends to equate love and sex. Let your heart lead instead of your head. Try back massages. Try touching your partner’s chest. Try pulling hair or having your hair pulled, also, as Leo rules over the hair.
Pisces: it’s no secret that you are prone to fantasies, daydreams, and being lost in a romantic haze. Something about you loves embodying the fantasy your partner desires, even if it isn’t who you really are. Because of this, you’re definitely a giver in bed, and are submissive as hell, relinquishing all control to the whims of your partner. Try taking control instead. Try taking a more practical, and realistic, approach to sex instead. Try on some sovereignty for once that isn’t dependent upon the validation of your partner. It is the Virgo way.
Illustrations by illustrator Rose Ides from the book The Cosmic Symposium courtesy of Rose Ides / Running Press
