Welcome to “What The Fuck Is Going On.” Haven’t a clue? Don’t fret; neither has anyone else.
It’s been a week of colossal confusion and disorder that can only be accurately described by the above Mr. Krabs meme.
Here, we have compiled a list of newsworthy happenings from Trump’s fourth week in office (yes, it has only been four weeks).
The Michael Flynn Fiasco
- On Feb. 13, National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was asked to resign (AKA politely fired) after reports claimed he lied about the nature of phone conversations with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador to the United States.
- Two days later, the New York Times reported, “Phone records and intercepted calls show that members of Donald J. Trump’s 2016 Presidential campaign and other Trump associates had repeated contacts with senior Russian intelligence officials in the year before the election.”
- Republican members of Congress, Sean Spicer and your racist Facebook acquaintance scrambled to find different ways to shout, “FAKE NEWS.”
Conway Somehow Still Had Credibility Left To Lose
- An overtly exhausted Kellyanne Conway appeared on the Today Show and attempted to explain Trump’s purported mishandling of Flynn’s conversations with Russia
- Matt Lauer, of all journalists, did the impossible: actually questioned her
- Conway to publish a personal essay titled, “What Have I Done”
A Press Conference Even Fox News Couldn’t Stand
- Donald Trump held a one hour and fifteen-minute press conference on Thursday
- The president, amidst his constant criticism of journalists, claimed that he would be “a pretty good reporter”
- We disagree
- Trump also stated that his administration “is running like a fine-tuned machine.”
- The phrase “fine-tuned machine” is now thought to mean “defective piece-of-shit”
Seth Rogen Twitter Trolls
- Yesterday, Donald Trump Jr. followed Seth Rogen on Twitter
- Rogen took advantage of the situation and sent a desperate plea from all Americans. He shared a screenshot of the direct message in a tweet with the caption, “Let’s see if this works!”
Twitter: @Sethrogen - Trump Jr. has yet to respond, but there is good reason to believe he is patiently waiting for his father to speak out regarding the extremely unfair treatment he has received
And Finally, Someone Did This
- With bad politics comes phenomenal photoshop
Twitter @McJesse
I love the internet.
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