In this world we live in, there are wonderful crafts—the brilliantly executed, aesthetically pleasing DIYs we long to get off of the internet to create ourselves with Popsicle sticks and hot glue guns But for every amazing craft project, there is an ugly equivalent forged while someone was a bit tipsy on Cupcake wine.
Lucky Peach is no stranger to dualism: Bloggers Anna and Gabrielle have taken to celebrating unfortunate experiments with a monthly blog installation called “Deranged Crafts,” in fact. Intrigued? This month’s recipe for disaster features all of the ramen you have in your too small apartment, a package of hotdogs that you will probably replace with tofu-dogs, and your leftover Christmas cookie food coloring.
We present to you Lucky Peach’s Deranged Crafts: A Ramen Seascape.
1-package hot dogs
1-package of mini hot dogs (because Mama Octopus needs a baby)
All the instant ramen
Food coloring from the Seascapes Collection, carefully curated by any grocery store
Mustard – a most unfortunate condiment
- Boil that shit. You’re going to need a large pot of some sort (your water bong doesn’t count) to cook all of your ramen. While your MSG riddled noodles are cooking, please add (up to) ten drops of green food coloring.*Beware: if you add anymore then ten it becomes radioactive.
- While your accomplice is carving hotdogs into octopi transport your ramen-seaweed to an empty container (yes, I guess your water bong might count here.) Then, refill your pot with water so you can boil your sea creature hot-opi
- By now you’ve realized that not only does your dwelling smell like a baseball stadium, but the “legs” of the hotdogs have become curled. This is your cue, sunshine. Remove the hot-opi to cool.
- In the mean time, plate your Soylent Green-like ramen. Once your animals are no longer steamin’ draw lil’ mustard smiley faces on them so they can see you.
- Now, snuggle your family into their faux-seaweed home so that they can remain safe and warm.
What you do after this point is really all up to you. As you can see Lucky Peach made a decadent hair arrangement, but truly the possibilities are endless. Get wild, get crazy – you’ve already broken out the food coloring.
All images are c/o the lovely Lucky Peach blog