The Labor Party: Some Lady Just Had a Baby

by Mary Grace Garis

Okay, I can’t lie to you, BUSTies, despite the nonchalant title I am FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

You’ve probably already heard, but Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, wife of Prince William and flawless individual, just gave birth to the future heir of the throne. I mean, it’s like, 4th or 5th in line (Elizabeth II is not letting go of that crown) but this is still REALLY EXCITING STUFF. Oh, and it’s allegedly a boy. This is what I’m hearing. It’s still breaking-ish news.

Okay, I’m sure in the past I’ve expressed nothing but terror in regards to pregnancy. And I know that Princesses don’t get a lot of feminist cred, because we should be striving to be doctors and lawyer and heads of democratic countries instead of just looking pretty and singing to woodland creatures. 

But let me have this moment. I just…have a very special sick obsession reserved for Kate Middleton. I remember staying up all night with my friends to watch the Royal Wedding. Me, a goth girl, and a gay man, all cuddled up in bed, eating fresh bagels with honey-almond cream cheese, with the dawn breaking over the grungy Philadelphia skyline. You can’t replicate that kind of magic.

I know it’s silly, not only because I’m American and this in no way affects me, but I get comfort from seeing real life happily-ever-afters play out like this. It’s like watching old Disney movies. You know it’s outdated and hardcore sexist, and any of the progressiveness is marred by the fact that everything STILL goes back to beauty, but it’s still pretty and happy, with great musical numbers. Yes.

What do you think? Are you grossed out by the worldwide royal family obsession? Or caught up in the story? Let us know in the comment section!

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Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

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