Welcome to summer ya’ll. Jaslene’s already a top model, Apolo Anton Ohno (the new love of my life) already took home the mirrorball trophy, Lieutenant Andy Baldwin is no longer a bachelor, Jordin already won Idol, Betty already admitted her love to Henry, and Burke and Cristina already called off their wedding in a totally WTF! finale (but you can get more Katherine Heigl goodness in her new movie "knocked up" when it hits theaters on Friday <–let’s hope it doesn’t blow and make women just look like sperm vessels!) It’s that time again for tv addicts alike to settle in for a long snoozefest of reruns. Cause let’s admit it, if you’ll admit you’re an addict like me, you’ll admit that there’s nothing you haven’t already seen. But wait! There’s good news for us! Even though sweeps is over, instead of fizzling for the summer, the networks are instead trying to swindle new viewers by delivering some fresh, first-run television. Granted, it’s mostly that reality nonsense you love to hate. Here’s my picks for a summer of guilty pleasures:
HGTV Design Star (HGTV, Premieres 7/23, 9:00). Competing home designers have my heart.
Mo’Nique’s F.A.T. Chance (Oxygen, Returns 7/15). A pageant for plus-sized women. Yes! Enough of those super skinny chicks already!
Project Runway (Bravo, Returns 7/12, 10:00). I’m a sucker in a big way.
Treasure Hunters (NBC, Premieres 6/18, 8:00). Reality game show. Seems reminiscent of Amazing Race. That means it might be good.
Work Out (Bravo, Premieres 7/19). Yay for gays! And nobody minds loookin’ at those abs!
The Closer (TNT, Returns 6/12, 9:00). Her character is a breath of fresh air among the machismo that can permeate cop shows.
House (Fox, Tuesdays, 9:00). I haven’t become addicted yet, but peeps in the office sweat this one.
Hidden Palms (the CW, Premieres 5/30, 8:00). Perhaps filler for the dirty little hole that the OC left in my heart when it was cancelled? We’ll find out.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? (Fox, Thursdays, 8:00). Jeff Foxworthy has me by the balls. This show is hilarious.
And what’s up with this new show Army Wives (Lifetime, Premieres 6/3 10:00)? Four women and one man who are brought together by their common bond – they all have enlisted spouses. The NYC trains are hypin’ this show hard. It may totally suck. I know I’ll be watching to find out!
P.S. Who’s gonna win Shear Genius tonight? I vote for Anthony.