Rock Star, Vampire, Stepdad: What Do You Think Ted Cruz Looks Like?

by Meghan Sara

The jury’s still out as to whether or not Ted Cruz, Republican  — er, second-runner to real-life Oompa Loompa? — is the Zodiac Killer. And he definitely looks like a toddler lying to his parents about flushing his dad’s expensive watch down the toilet just for fun. But is he also in a Christian rock band?

This viral Facebook post seems pretty convincing! Hey! Is that Ted Cruz?!

Michael Sweet Stryper tweet

Naw, it’s Michael Sweet, lead singer of Stryper! And he’s taking it pretty well, considering the other things Ted Cruz has been rather unfavorably compared to:

Megan Amram Ted Cruz tweet

In fact, both Buzzfeed and Distractify have compiled long lists of things Ted Cruz’s confidence-less visage has been compared to.

Nate Jandernoa Ted Cruz Grandpa Munster tweet

Denizens of the Internet, I Beseech Thee: Please never stop comparing Ted Cruz to things like Grandpa Munster, Tobey Maguire, and the living embodiment of a sigh:

Alex Baze Ted Cruz Tweet

Gauntlet thrown, America!  What does Ted Cruz look like to you?  Best tweet wins a croissant!  I’ll start:

Meghan Sara Ted Cruz tweet

More from BUST

Trump v. Cruz:  Who Hates Women More?

Case Closed (?): Ted Cruz Is The Zodiac Killer

Ted Cruz’s Latest Slut Shaming Move Shows Yet Again That He Is Bad For Women

 

You may also like

Get the print magazine.

The best of BUST in your inbox!

Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

.

About Us

Founded in 1993, BUST is the inclusive feminist lifestyle trailblazer offering a unique mix of humor, female-focused entertainment, uncensored personal stories, and candid reporting that tells the truth about women’s lives.

©2023 Street Media LLC.  All Right Reserved.