“You better get ring shopping cause this pillow’s gonna get you pregnant.”

by Intern Brooke Connolly

If you’re like me, then chances are- you’re terribly-terribly-terribly lonely.
But there’s good news for us spinsters on this dreary Monday, thanks to Japanese inventors. A boyfriend who won’t forget your birthday, cause he’s made out of memory foam!!!

The Boyfriend Arm Pillow

You’ve always been close your pillow, but never this close.
Introducing the Boyfriend Arm Pillow- Now you can feverishly masturbate yourself to sleep while holding __(insert boyfriend pillow’s name here)_______’s hand!
Adding a whole new level of excitement to your fantasies.
Now you can have a physical AND emotional connection to your pillow!
*No more wondering, “where were you last night?”
Just look on the floor next to the bed.

*No more wondering, “is this gonna last?”
There’s a warranty for that.

*No more wondering, “is this sex face I’m making look- retarded or sexy?”
He can’t see you.

Cue>  King’s of Leon, ‘Sex on Fire’— light a candle—and use those tears as lube
…And, thank God AND Japan for your, Boyfriend Arm Pillow Issac.

The Boyfriend Arm Pillow- “You better get ring shopping cause this pillow’s gonna get you pregnant.”

photo courtesy: Lost at E Minor.com

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