Maaarge! Girl, you’ve been killing it for 30 seasons. Aside from being matriarch of the Simpsons clan, you’ve had numerous careers throughout your tenure on the small screen. You’ve been leaning in long before Sheryl Sandberg. From police officer to novelist to body builder, you’re waaaay more nuanced than people give you credit for, yet everything you do is through a nurturing maternal lens and a superhuman degree of patience. You really contain multitudes. But it can get dark sometimes. You’ve sacrificed a lot of yourself for others, like many women throughout generations.
What I wouldn’t give to trade stories over a bottle of prosecco. I’m sure you’ve got the best advice, like how to have adventures while raising a son, daughter, and husband, while maintaining a the perfect blue beehive—which is so packed with volume I couldn’t fit it in most of the pictures. Not to mention your house with such an impressive level of kitsch, I’m surprised Architectural Digest hasn’t done a feature. You’re so busy keeping it all together and playing the voice of reason to Homer’s absurdity, we forget that you’re one of the funniest characters on the show. So in honor of you, Marge Bouvier Simpson, here are some of your best moments.
“You’re talking about a trough. We’re not going to eat from a trough. And another thing, it’s only 5:15. Why are you in your underwear?” (A Milhouse Divided, s. 8 ep. 6)
Proving Marge Simpson is every mother everywhere. In this episode, Marge is done with TV dinners sucking away at time with her family. She longs for a full conversation, a dinner that doesn’t involve a microwave and for everyone to be fully clothed. So, the Simpsons put on a dinner party and invite a few series regulars, including the parents of Bart’s BFF and partner in crime, Milhouse Van Houten. Marge puts on a beautiful display for her guests but the drama of the evening was only partly to thank because of her keen sense of ambience. It’s always some other couple amiright? Luann and Kirk Van Houten bicker throughout the whole evening, which reaches its peak the moment Luann asks for a divorce during a game of Pictionary. Marge provided the backdrop. Milhouse’s ‘rents provided the drama. It was like an episode of Dynasty.
“I’m going into the dining room to have a conversation. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome. Hello Marge, how’s the family? I don’t want to talk about it! Mind your own business!” (A Milhouse Divided, s.8 ep.6)
MARGE IS ALL OF OUR MOMS. Except today, everyone would be on their phones. Marge finishes the previously mentioned scene with a dramatic exit and a conversation with herself, which ends rather abruptly.
“Oh I’ve always wanted to use rosemary in something!” (It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge, s.11 ep. 21)
Hey, I’ve always wanted to use rosemary too! Really any spice. I need to learn how to cook something that’s not from a toaster. You don’t sprinkle rosemary on toast do you? Marge would know. She plans a wedding for Otto and his short-term girlfriend, Becky. Of course she gets more than she bargained for, as Otto leaves Becky at the altar for a Poison cover band. With nowhere to go, Becky moves in with the Simpsons which starts out great. Marge has a hip friend teaching her new things and the kids have a cool big sister. Becky gets more comfortable with the family and it starts to wear on Marge. You’ll see. Keep scrolling.
“An alligator with sunglasses? Now I’ve seen everything.” (Bart Sells His Soul, s.7 ep. 4)
One of my favorite things about Marge is that she takes delight in simple moments. Particularly when she sees something kitschy, which is how I would describe her taste: Kitschy chic with a hint of whimsy. In the subplot of this episode, Moe is trying to expand his customer base by turning his bar into a family restaurant. And what is more family friendly than an animal dressed as a human? Probably a lot of things. Universal healthcare being one of them. Anyways, Marge is delighted by the kitschy décor. Her taste comes into focus again in another episode, when John Waters pays a visit to the house and totally loses it for the corn print curtains in the kitchen. So camp! You know, “the tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?”
“Wow, your first day at the new school! Lisa, have fun. Bart, don’t!” (Waverly Hills 9021 d’oh, s.20 ep. 19)
Marge knows her kids. She knows “fun” means something entirely different for Bart than for Lisa. Learning is fun for Lisa. Destruction is fun for Bart.
“You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions. First I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.” (Deep Space Homer, s.5 ep. 15)
Above all, Marge is loyal to her family. Her marriage has been through 30 seasons of ups and downs, but she’ll do anything for her loved ones. And, she’s been married long enough to know Homer needs to experience space. In this episode, Homer is offered the chance to visit space when NASA decides to send “an average shmo” up in the air. While she’s unaware of NASA’s ulterior motives, Marge knows Homer needs to get the space thing out of his system. Like many of us, Marge’s anxiety has the range of Meryl Streep. But she leans into her emotions, observes them and becomes zen. Zen enough to realize the dreams in her loved ones and encourage them despite fear and general fatigue.
“Lisa’s growing up. It’s a really complicated time in a girl’s life from age eight to… Actually, all the rest of the way.” (Brick Like Me, s. 25 ep. 20)
One of the most honest moments from this show. Also one of the more groundbreaking and challenging episodes, considering it took around 2 years to make. Homer wakes up in an alternate Springfield universe where everyone now is a LEGO version of themselves. He keeps experiencing hallucinations about Lisa’s birthday, and switches between his LEGO and cartoon realities. Moments of this episode parallel The LEGO Movie in the morals of the overlapping storylines as well as the fact that every character is made of LEGOs. Here, Marge explains that Lisa is no longer that little girl wearing the pink dress and hat in the photo on the wall. She’s hanging out with some “cool, older girls” and “one of them wears deodorant!” She doesn’t know which one. They’re off to a PG-13 movie and Lisa’s excited to know “what the one swear word will be.” Marge understands her daughter and she understands the gnarled course of development from girl to woman, as a cartoon, as a LEGO, in the flesh, etc.
“Yesss I hate when things get worn out, mmhmm, socks… welcomes…” (It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge, s.11 ep. 21)
Our friend Becky, who taught Marge how to use Rosemary, has been living with the Simpsons ever since Otto chose heavy metal over her on their wedding day. Becky’s a great addition at first, but leaves Marge to do the household grunt work while she plays the role of fun-loving, paint-throwing hippie sister. Even like the most elastic of socks, Marge’s saintly patience is wearing thin and the shade is being thrown.
“GET! OUT!” (Homer Alone, s.3 ep.15)
One of Marge’s most relatable moments. The stress of the household chores and feeling underappreciated by her family has caught up with Marge in this episode. Her list of to-dos keeps piling up as each family member demands something from her without so much as a thank you. It’s just one of those days where the kids are too busy fighting in the backseat to be dropped off for school and you need to get across town to get your husband’s bowling ball fixed before the place closes. So, you lose your temper. You snap and yell at your kids. If you’re a parent with two children close in age, you will be able to hear this picture. If you and your sibling often fought about petty bullshit before morning drop off, you will be able to hear this picture. If you’re having one of those days where you are stretched so thin and everything feels like a sprint with hurdles, you will be able to hear this picture.
“Hello, room service? This is Marge Simpson! I’d like a banana fudge sundae. With whipped cream! And some chocolate chip cheesecake. And a bottle of tequila!” (Homer Alone, s. 3 ep. 15)
Treat yo self to thousand luuuvin. Marge mastered the art of “treat yo self” way before Tom and Donna did on Parks and Rec. After an incident in which she parks her car in the middle of a bridge, causing a major traffic jam, Marge takes a much-needed solo getaway at Rancho Relaxo. The rest of the Simpson clan doesn’t fare too well in her absence considering she is the one holding this family together. Like many primetime shows with a half hour time slot, this one’s episode wraps up with the perfect TV bow. Marge ultimately gets bored being alone at a spa and returns home to her relieved family and trashed house. As is with many problems that accompany living situations, this one is solved with a little more help around the house from everyone.
“‘House of pain.’ This must be where you pay the bill! Why am I always so funny when no one’s around?” (Treehouse of Horror XIII, s. 14 ep. 1)
Ughh I know, it’s just like thinking of the perfect comeback when it’s too late. In this “Treehouse of Horror” short, the Simpsons visit “The Island of Lost Souls,” a parody of H.G. Wells’ book The Island of Dr. Moreau. While Marge explores the island by herself, she realizes she’s not alone and is taken by Dr. Hibbert, who has been transforming the island’s visitors into animal hybrids. When Homer finds out his wife and kids have been mutated, he freaks out but then experiences a change of heart whe he realizes that the animal lifestyle of sleeping, eating, and rolling around in one’s poop closely aligns with his personal values.
“Why do I always think of the perfect thing to say when it’s too late? … ‘SHUT UP BECKY!’ Oh that would’ve been soo sweet.” (It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge, s.11 ep. 21)
Ugh, I know. It’s like thinking of the perfect joke when no one’s around. Marge’s patience is running thin, as my mother would say. Becky has overstayed her welcome to no one else but Marge. At first, Marge feels unwanted and replaced. But after her car’s brakes mafunction as she’s heading downhill towards a busy intersection, she becomes convinced Becky has tampered with her vehicle and wants her dead. Spoiler alert: It was Homer’s fault.
“I hope you understand I’m too tense to pretend I like you.” (Lisa On Ice, s.6 ep. 8)
A lesson in boundary-setting. Marge is patient, but she knows her limits. Yet she’s still patient enough to tell you what they are. Sibling rivalry is at an all-time high in this episode, as Bart and Lisa are both on competing hockey teams. Marge struggles to keep the peace when the kids start playing hockey with their silverwear during dinner. So she doesn’t mince her words when Moe walks in unannounced, asking for a favor.
“I don’t mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you’re taking a shower.” (Postcards From The Wedge, s.21 ep. 14)
Another excellent lesson in setting boundaries. Marge would make a great RA.
“Seems I’m full of rage…” (“Screaming Yellow Honkers,” s. 10 ep. 15)
After cashing out his 401k for a vehicle he ends up not wanting, Homer leaves Marge with the new SUV and she LOVES it. The car’s automated system knows her name. She can fit 32 grocery bags in the trunk. She can avoid traffic by turning on the four-wheel drive and illegally plowing through a field to the opposite side of town. She can weave in and out of a funeral procession with the entitlement that comes with owning an SUV because “the streets are for the living!” Marge is then ordered to take a defensive driving course, which she passes. But due to a misunderstanding and Chief Wiggum’s casual sexism, she unfairly gets her license revoked for “road rage.” Yet once again, her help is needed when Homer sets of a chain reaction at the Zoo causing the Rhinos to escape. Marge declines Chief Wiggum’s request for help with the above cunning clapback, until she realizes her family is in danger. Then she and her SUV save the day.
“Parades just bring out so many emotions in me! Joy, excitement, looking…” (Homer Vs. the 18th Amendment, s.8 ep.18)
Marge takes delight in the simple things and encourages us all to be present. A rare slice-of-life before the era of smartphones.
“I’ve been so bored since we’ve moved here, I’ve found myself drinking a glass of wine every day. I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I just can’t drink that much.” (You Only Move Twice, s. 8 ep. 2)
Cheers to all the lightweights out there! Cheers to all the heavyweights! Cheers to those who don’t drink! When the family moves to the gated community Cypress Creek, everything seems like a total upgrade. The house cleans itself; Hank Scorpio, Homer’s new boss, loves him and his hammock-in-every-office idea; and Lisa and Bart are enjoying their new school. Yet, as with many gated communities, all is not as it seems. Everyone in town works for the same company run by Hank Scorpio, who happens to be one those adventurous billionaires with the laugh of a criminal mastermind (because he is a criminal mastermind). Bart is placed in a remedial class for not knowing cursive. Lisa is allergic to all the nature. And Marge feels so directionless in the new town, she takes up a mild day drinking habit. While a glass of wine a day doesn’t equate to a drinking problem, Marge knows drinking out of boredom will just stagnate her and won’t lead to long-term fulfillment.
“You should listen to your heart, and not the voices inside your head.” (The Boy Who Knew Too Much, s. 5 ep. 20)
Jiminy Cricket said the same thing. Marge even looks like she has wings with the TV antennae behind her. When Bart needs ethics advice (a common the in the Simpsons ), Marge encourages him to consider his feelings and let his conscience guide him to the right decision. Marge knows her son is a good kid who can empathize with people’s struggles at the end of the day, but he will ALWAYS act first before he thinks.
(Homer Alone, s.3 ep.15)
One good way to end the day is with a nice, long roar at the patriarchy.
Photos created by author via imgflip.com
Original photos via FOX
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