Forget everything you were taught about what it means to be “good” in bed. If it starts with performing and ends in performative moaning, it’s time to clear that spell and write a new one. One that’s rooted in power, not performance.
This is the heart of what I call loving like a witch—approaching sex, intimacy, and love as something not just physical or emotional, but energetic and magical. It’s about aligning your body and your spirit, your desire and your boundaries, your pleasure and your power.
Because real intimacy—the kind that makes your toes curl and your soul exhale—doesn’t come from trying to be sexy. It comes from being fully you.
Sex Is Not a Performance—It’s a Portal
We’ve been taught that sex is either for reproduction or recreation. But for centuries, spiritual lineages have known something else: sex is a portal. A direct line to the divine. A place where we lose the self, not in disconnection, but in a deeper form of unity.
When I work with women on reclaiming their sensuality, I introduce orgasms as spiritual practice—not just a release, but a raising of the body’s energetic frequency. It’s not about faking it or forcing it. It’s about being present enough to feel it fully, to ride it, to use that energy for healing, manifestation, or simply coming home to your body.
And yes, orgasms are powerful manifestation tools—the highest vibrational state our bodies can hold. When you’re in that space of full-body yes, your heart is open, your defenses are down, and you’re energetically magnetic. That’s a powerful time to set an intention, whisper a desire, or offer gratitude for what’s already coming. That’s sex magic.
Here’s how to begin:
- Set an intention before sex or self-pleasure. Whisper it, write it down, or just feel it: “I’m calling in clarity.” “I’m ready to receive.”
- Breathe deeply to stay grounded and open.
- At orgasm, focus on your intention. Visualize it. Feel it. Let it anchor in.
Love Is an Energy Game
The best lovers aren’t the most experienced—they’re the most attuned. They can feel your body shift, your energy open or contract. You can learn this too. When we approach sex and love energetically, we stop asking, “Am I doing it right?” and start asking, “What am I feeling right now? Is this safe? Is this true?” “Is this aligned?”
Try this:
- Before intimacy, check in with your body. Hands over your heart or pelvis. One deep breath. Ask: What do I need right now?
- Use your body as a pendulum. Do you lean in or pull away? That’s your answer.
- Visualize energetic protection. A golden light around your body. It grounds you in sovereignty.
Ritual Is the New Foreplay
Bringing ritual into your love life changes everything. You’re no longer just swiping or hoping. You’re co-creating with the universe.
Try:
- Lighting a candle and setting an intention before a date.
- Anointing your body with oil and thanking it for how it feels, not how it looks.
- Starting sex with breath and eye contact. Just a few seconds of presence.
These rituals don’t have to be dramatic. They just have to be intentional.
When you love like a witch, you’re not waiting to be chosen.
You’re not chasing. You’re not performing.
You are radiating.
You are receiving.
You are manifesting.
Dr. Laura Berman is a world-renowned sex, love, and relationship therapist, best-selling author, and host of the popular podcast The Language of Love. Her latest book, Sex Magic, is a soulful, sensual guide to reclaiming your pleasure, deepening intimacy, and manifesting the love you truly desire—in and out of the bedroom.
Learn more at www.drlauraberman.com/sexmagic
