I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned From Indie Rockers, Hippies, Pornographers, Self-Loathing Hipsters, And Other Guys I’ve Dated

by Debbie Stoller

A zippy significant other chronology in which author Julie Klausner explores the unsavory details of sleeping with a gallery of losers.

Julie Klausner is a funny lady-she writes for VH1, teaches classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade, and has appeared on TV shows like Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Saturday Night Live, and the sadly defunct Strangers with Candy. And her new book, I Don’t Care About Your Band, a memoir of dating, is often hilarious. Klausner’s unorthodox definition of “relationship,” which includes such varied situations as cohabitation, intense MySpace friendships, and guys she sleeps with twice, is refreshing. And an anecdote about a would-be paramour getting arrested for accidentally kidnapping a child had me laughing so hard I was nearly crying.But at the end of several chapters, Klausner tries in vain to connect her experiences back to her readers with tacked-on paragraphs about how you should try to find a guy “who impresses and adores you” and “makes you feel like a star.” The advice reads as slightly patronizing coming from a woman who’s great at getting laughs but pretty terrible at finding good boyfriends. And her frequent pop culture references and sarcastic tone interfere with the comedy inherent in all of these crazy episodes. Her story about calling a phone-sex hotline to feed her adolescent curiosity is funny on its own, but adult Julie’s cynical narration just feels redundant. This is the problem with many of Klausner’s tales throughout the memoir-the imposition of her present dating savvy on her past mishaps only makes the stories seem less funny than they actually are. You’ll laugh at some of her memories, but you’ll also wish Klausner had let the previous incarnations of Julie speak for themselves.

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