HOLY RETAIL, BATMAN! Double-Duty Dream Shoes for the Hedonist in You

by Maggie Carr

I’m broke. You’re broke. But luckily, a low-balance bank account is no obstacle to ogling some badass shoes. And you can feel good about putting these puppies on your wish list, because all of these crazy-cool shoes are more than just mere footwear. Why have shoes when you can have SUPER SHOES?


Jeffrey Campbell Heelies, $199.95


Dropping $200 on MOTHEREFFING HEELIE SLINGBACKS is a responsible investment. Hear me out!

One: Jeffy Campbs are built to last. Two: Seventies flatforms are on-trend and totes wearable in fall with opaque tights. Three: WHEELZ.

Any questions? No? Moving right along.



Tanya Heath Interchangeable Heels, $377

Parisian-Canadian designer Tanya Heath makes gaw-geous classic leather pumps with a twist: you can change out the heels for both walkability and style. I’m currently feeling the shit out of these classic booties with these heels. (Having a glitter moment. LEAVE ME ALONE.)



Fred Flare Kitty Loafers, $52

The only thing between me and a brood of snuggly kitties is a dander allergy that leaves me yowling for mercy. (Ba-dum-BUM!) These adorable (not to mention affordable) slip-ons are just like real cats! Except you can have them with you all day…and don’t have to feed them…and wear them on your feet.

So not like cats at all. Yikes. Cue music!



Bass Gold Wayfarers, $90.99

My amazing first-grade teacher wore Bass penny loafers (with pennies tucked inside, natch) every day. I still love the idea of carrying your lucky pennies with you at all times–it’s part miserly, part superstitious, and all swag.

If you’re gonna stash cash in your shoes, you might as well go H.A.M. on the color. Metallic gold! Let’s do this thing!




Charlotte Olympia Masquerade Peep-Toes, $1,082 (srsly)

When I finally have a spare evening to attend Carine Roitfeld’s famous masquerade ball, these drool-worthy, just-the-right-side-of-showgirl babies are the only disguise I’ll need. Masks. For your feet. Whoa, nelly.

Everything Charlotte Dellal touches is so good, it makes me wanna cry. (Her website is totally NSFW, by the way–hardcore shoe porn. You know how it goes.)


If you could rock any pair, which would you choose? Alternatives are welcome!


Images via solestruck.com, sarenza.co.uk, fredflare.com, zappos.com, and charlotteolympia.com


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