I didn’t find out until I was 17 years old that asparagus did not actually grow in a can and that its natural color was green and not mustard yellow. My mother delighted in traumatizing her children with canned asparagus as a side dish for supper.
It took me years to embrace how fresh, crisp, and fabulous fresh asparagus can be, and in the springtime it’s all the more glorious.
When I first started my catering career, we used to blanch asparagus to bring out its brilliant green and serve it as part of a crudité with dip. FYI: The way you blanch is by dropping asparagus boiling water for just a few minutes, straining it, and submerging it in ice water. The color is incredible but the flavor is not super exciting. I grew bored with the simple gus and started serving it as grilled asparagus crudité instead. Now I put grilled asparagus everywhere—in salads, in pasta, on pizza, even once as a topping for mac and cheese!
I try to talk all my clients into asparagus as a side dish because it’s so yummy and pretty, but a lot of them worry about the great asparagus mystery in life: Why does it make your pee smell? Okay, yes, asparagus does make your pee smell. There is some sort of acid called asparagusic. Sounds like a good name for a goth band if you ask me. It is harmless but it contains sulfur and makes you wee wee stinky. Small price to pay for gussy gasms!
How to trim your gus:
You can trim your gus by cutting the harder woody parts off, usually around two inches from the bottom, or by holding your gus in the middle and bending until it breaks off. Asparagus lets you know what’s a dead end to get rid of. (Wish half of my relationships had done the same thing.)
Roasted or Grilled Gus
Start off with as much trimmed asparagus as you want to cook.
Toss your gus in freshly ground pepper and kosher salt with several good drizzles of olive oil.
If roasting: Lay out on a baking sheet with parchment paper on it and put in the oven at 400 for 10 to 15 minutes. You want the gus to look slightly browned and be tender when you eat it, but still firm to the bite.
If grilling: Grill over medium-high heat until well-marked and starting to soften, but still firm. This may take 5 to 7 minutes depending on the size of the gus.
Optional but lovely for grilled or roasted gus: Garnish with grated parmesan, lemon zest, toasted almond slivers, and red pepper flakes
Grilled Asparagus Greek Salad
After grilling, slice your gus at an angle so you get pretty oval slices. Toss with plum tomatoes cut into half-moons or cherry tomatoes cut in half, sliced kalamata olives (no pits), romaine lettuce washed and torn into bite-size pieces, English cucumber sliced into half-moons, and red onion peeled and sliced or diced.
Then toss with Greek salad dressing.
Top your salad with crumbled feta cheese.
Optional but lovely garnish: sliced scallions and fresh parsley, mint, or dill
Chef Rossi’s Greek Salad Dressing
Mix two drizzles red wine or sherry vinegar, 1 plop Dijon mustard, 1 pinch dry oregano, kosher salt and fresh ground pepper, a tiny pinch sugar, and 1 shot virgin olive oil. I have also been known to zing it up by adding a drizzle of hot sauce. I’m a spicy lady!
Naan Grilled Asparagus Pizza
I made these years ago for a wedding I was catering for an Indian groom and an Italian bride. How better to celebrate their spring wedding fusion of love than with naan asparagus pizza?!
Brush your naan (or any flatbread) with herb oil (recipe below).
Top with grated mozzarella, roasted red onion cut into slivers, grilled asparagus sliced into quarter-inch-thick ovals, plum tomatoes sliced into half-moons, and sliced green or kalamata olives. Lay pizza on sheet pans covered with parchment paper and roast in a 450-degree oven (tandoori style) for 10 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the pizza is slightly browned. I love to garnish this with red pepper flakes and grated parmesan.
Chef Rossi’s Killer Herb Oil
Put a handful each of fresh and washed thyme, parsley, scallions, and rosemary into a food processor and blend with a plop or two of roasted garlic and olive oil. You will get a pesto-like consistency.
Grilled or Roasted Asparagus Smoked Salmon Treats
These are pretty old-fashioned. I started making these in the ’80s, but some things never go out of style. Like Levi’s and powerful women! There is nothing yummier for an afternoon cocktail party or brunch than this yummalicious gussy treat, and it’s crazy easy.
Trim your grilled or roasted gus so it’s not too long or it will be too much of a mouthful; no longer than 5 inches. You can use the rest for your pizza!
Wrap your gus in a slice of smoked salmon. You want the green gus end sticking out so folks don’t have to grab it by the fishy part. That’s it! Easy-peasy. You can make these up to five hours ahead and keep in the fridge until you’re ready to serve. Take out a half hour before serving so they come to room temp. Then lay a whole bunch out on a platter and sprinkle with lemon zest, capers, minced red onion, and sliced chives. Total gusgasm!
Photo by Eddy Buttarelli REDA Universal Images Group via Getty-Images
