Evidence-based alternatives that protect your child’s wellbeing while honoring your values
When your son or daughter comes to you questioning who they are, whether they’re attracted to someone of the same sex or struggling with how they see themselves, your heart can pound right out of your chest. You want to do right by them, protect them, and remain in integrity with your faith. In this moment of fear and uncertainty, you may hear about “conversion therapy” or “reparative therapy” programs that promise to fix everything.
Before making any decision that could permanently affect your child and your family, it’s essential to understand the truth about these practices and the safer, faith-aligned alternatives that exist.
What Is Conversion Therapy?
Conversion therapy refers to any effort to change a person’s attractions or how they see themselves through counseling, prayer programs, or residential treatment centers. These practices go by many names, including “change efforts,” “reparative therapy,” or, more recently, “exploratory psychotherapy.”
According to Conversion Truth for Families, a resource organization created specifically for faith-guided parents, “exploratory psychotherapy” is simply another name for conversion therapy repackaged to mislead parents during vulnerable moments of fear or confusion.
The consensus among mental health researchers and major professional organizations is clear: these practices are ineffective and harmful. Children exposed to them experience increased risks of depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.
The Research: Why Medical Organizations Universally Oppose These Practices
Suicide Risk and Mental Health Harm
The evidence on conversion therapy’s dangers is substantial and growing. Research published in JAMA Psychiatry, one of medicine’s most respected journals, found that individuals who reported receiving conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide during their lifetime compared to those who engaged in other types of therapy.
Even more alarming: those who were younger than age 10 when they underwent these practices had four times greater risk of attempting suicide. The study’s lead author, Dr. Jack Turban of Harvard Medical School, noted this was the first research to definitively show that efforts to change how someone sees themselves are associated with adverse mental health outcomes.
A peer-reviewed study published by The Trevor Project found that youth who underwent conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to report having attempted suicide and more than 2.5 times as likely to report multiple suicide attempts in the past year.
Research from ScienceDirect using data from the U.S. Transgender Survey revealed that exposure to conversion therapy increased the risk of suicide attempts by 17 percentage points—a 55% increase—and more than doubled the risk of running away from home.
It Simply Doesn’t Work
Beyond the safety concerns, there is no verified evidence that conversion therapy achieves what it claims. As theAmerican Medical Association notes, these practices do not change who a person fundamentally is. Every major medical and mental health organization in America—including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, and American Psychiatric Association, has rejected conversion therapy as both ineffective and harmful.
A UK government evidence assessment concluded that the balance of evidence suggests conversion therapy is unlikely to be effective and is associated with negative health outcomes.
The Hidden Cost: How Conversion Therapy Destroys Families
Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of conversion therapy is how it tears families apart—the very relationships it promises to protect.
Parents Share Their Regret
Paulette Trimmer, a Pentecostal mother from Virginia, shared her family’s devastating experience with multiple conversion therapy programs. Her son, Adam, seeking to reconcile who he was with his faith, asked to attend expensive residential programs promising change.
Before Adam left for the first program, he loved his parents. When he returned, everything had changed. He didn’t want to be around either of them and told his father he was “the worst father in the world.” The programs employed techniques that taught participants to blame their parents—a common approach in conversion therapy that creates lasting rifts.
As documented in sworn statements submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court, other parents like Linda Robertson and Joyce Calvo shared how conversion therapy took their children’s lives. Both described being reassured by church counselors that these programs would bring their children back. Instead, they wrote, their children are gone.
The Family Acceptance Project Research
Research from the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University demonstrates the pivotal role parents play in conversion efforts—and the devastating consequences. Their studies found that youth whose parents attempted to change them had:
- More than twice the likelihood of attempting suicide
- Significantly higher rates of depression
- Lower educational attainment and weekly income in adulthood
- Greater risk of substance abuse and risky behaviors
Dr. Caitlin Ryan, the project’s director, emphasizes that parents who try to change a child’s identity may be motivated by attempts to protect their children, but these rejecting behaviors instead undermine a child’s sense of self-worth and contribute to self-destructive behaviors.
The Financial Cost: Don’t Let Someone Cash In on Your Child
Conversion therapy isn’t just harmful—it’s expensive. Research published in JAMA Pediatrics found that the practice costs U.S. families an estimated $650 million annually in direct costs, with associated harms—including substance abuse and suicide attempts—totaling an estimated $9.23 billion economic burden.
Individual families report spending thousands of dollars on multiple programs, often bankrupting themselves in the process. As Paulette Trimmer’s story illustrates, her family paid for program after program, only to watch their relationship with their son deteriorate.
The landmark Ferguson v. JONAH case established that conversion therapy can constitute consumer fraud. A jury found a New Jersey conversion therapy organization liable for false promises, with the judge stating that the notion of changing someone’s fundamental nature is as outdated as believing the earth is flat.
Red Flags Parents Should Watch For
Conversion Truth for Families advises parents to walk away if they encounter any of these warning signs:
- Promises to change or “resolve” identity, even softly worded
- Pressure to “test” your child’s identity through stress or deprivation
- Shame-based tactics that frame a child’s identity as moral failure—including blaming you, the parent
- Lack of verified, evidence-based safety plans to reduce suicide risk
- Claims that these are “new” or “exploratory” approaches when they employ the same harmful techniques
As noted in their comprehensive FAQ, these practices prey on parental fear and sell false hope. Those who profit from them know better, and families deserve better.
Faith-Centered Alternatives That Actually Work
The good news is that you don’t have to choose between your child and your faith. Countless Christian families have found ways to keep both their beliefs and their relationships with their children intact.
The Christian Family Companion Guide
Conversion Truth for Families offers a free four-part guide called “The Christian Family Companion,” designed specifically for faith-guided parents navigating this journey. Created with input from parents, grandparents, and guardians who’ve walked this path themselves, the resource provides:
- Day-by-day guidance for the first 24 hours, first week, first month, and first year
- Practical emotional regulation tools—breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and ways to find calm
- Realistic expectations for each stage, so nothing catches you off guard
- Guidance that honors your faith without asking you to abandon your values
- Strategies from parents who’ve been there
- Tools to strengthen your family rather than tear it apart
Supportive Counseling vs. Change Efforts
There is a critical difference between ethical therapy and conversion therapy. The Journal of Ethics at the American Medical Association explains that supportive counseling helps young people work through their questions in a safe environment, while conversion therapy attempts to force a predetermined outcome.
Ethical therapists focus on:
- Family connection and communication
- Coping skills and mental health support
- Safety planning given elevated suicide risks in questioning youth
- Supporting the whole child without predetermined goals about who they should become
What Research Shows About Acceptance
The Family Acceptance Project research demonstrates that parental acceptance doesn’t require parents to immediately change all their beliefs. Instead, it involves:
- Listening without immediately trying to fix or change
- Maintaining the parent-child relationship as primary
- Protecting your child from harm, including from practitioners who promise change
- Finding faith communities that support families through this journey
- Taking time to learn and understand rather than reacting from fear
Compared with young people who experienced high family rejection, those who received acceptance were:
- Eight times less likely to attempt suicide
- Nearly six times less likely to report high levels of depression
- Significantly less likely to experience homelessness, substance abuse, or risky behaviors
Finding Faith-Affirming Resources
Organizations like PFLAG offer faith resources specifically for Christians, including ministries that support families of all faith backgrounds. Groups like Fortunate Families and FreedHearts provide a community for parents who want to support their children while maintaining their faith.
The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists maintains an extensive resource library, including biblical and theological studies, ethics and spirituality resources, and practical guides for faith communities.
Stories of Families Who Found a Better Way
Brandon Boulware’s Testimony
Brandon Boulware, a father whose viral testimony before Missouri legislators moved millions, describes the transformation in his family once they stopped trying to change their daughter:
“The moment we allowed my daughter to be who she is, to grow her hair, to wear the clothes she wanted to wear, she was a different child. And I mean, it was immediate. It was a total transformation. I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter.”
The Robertson Family
Linda Robertson’s story illustrates both the devastation of rejection and the redemption of acceptance. After years of trying to change their son through various interventions, the Robertsons nearly lost him. In the final months of his life, they learned to truly love their son without conditions, just because he breathes.
“Over the next ten months, we learned to truly love our son. Period. No buts. No conditions. Just because he breathes. We learned to love whoever our son loved. And it was easy. What I had been so afraid of became a blessing.”
Adam Trimmer’s Reconciliation
Adam Trimmer, whose mother Paulette’s story is documented by Conversion Truth for Families, quit conversion therapy on his own and has worked to undo the damage it caused. Today, he and his mother have a restored relationship that conversion therapy tried to take away.
Practical First Steps for Parents
If your child has recently shared their questions or struggles with you, here are research-backed steps you can take right now:
- Take a breath. You don’t need all the answers today. The Christian Family Companion offers day-by-day guidance for exactly this moment.
- Listen before you act. Research consistently shows that parental presence and listening matter more than having the “right” answers.
- Build a safety plan. Elevated suicide risk among questioning youth is very real. Loving presence and support save lives.
- Seek ethical professional support. If you choose to involve a counselor, ensure they focus on family connection and coping skills, not on changing who your child is.
- Connect with other parents. Organizations like PFLAG connect families who have walked this road before you.
- Protect your family from predatory practices. As the Conversion Truth for Families FAQ notes, conversion therapy preys on parental fear during vulnerable moments.
A Final Word
The truth is simple: outside meddling will never bring a child closer to God or replace your job as a parent. Healing starts at the kitchen table, in prayer, and in love that listens.
Parents don’t have to choose between faith and their child. As countless families have discovered, the path forward involves protecting your relationship with your child while staying rooted in your values, not handing your child over to practitioners selling false hope.
As one mother reflected after her family’s painful experience with conversion therapy: “We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love.”
