During my time living in Florence, I quickly realized that it is a city for the girls.
In Italian culture, women are the most respected members.
Men flock to the women in their lives for every circumstance. It’s also not uncommon for sons to live with their mothers until they find a wife. They basically go from being commanded by one woman to being commanded by another.
Although this respect is apparent within the family dynamic of Italian culture, it has translated to the way women are seen within the city as a whole. From the Virgin Mary to Catherine de’ Medici, women are considered “holy” in many ways. Female-owned businesses line the streets like dominos and the quintessential powerful woman is seen in every which way.
When women get catcalled in the streets, they will catcall their suitors right back. There is a certain essence of confidence that the Florentine female exudes that sets the tone within the city. I never felt safer or more in control of my surroundings while living there. It felt like a big feminist breath of fresh air.
Soon enough, I became intertwined with the matriarchal culture, connecting deeper to its community. During my days of lustful window shopping, a quick browse would turn into an hour-long conversation with the female shop owners who shared their life stories with me freely.
If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be in a room of Italian females doing a shamanic ritual to awaken our vaginas like lotus flowers, I would have told them they were tripping. But here I was, doing just that. And it felt absolutely amazing.
One of my favorite female-owned shops was Carla Montemerli’s. Carla has owned her shop since 1997 and uniquely translates her fine arts degree as a sculptor into her jewelry pieces. The best thing about visiting Carla’s store is not just the breathtaking handcrafted jewelry but watching her golden retriever husband run the business on her behalf. You can expect to find him with wine-stained lips, blasting opera and speaking about his wife like she is the messiah.
While I was finding my footing within Florence’s feminist society, I began receiving invites to unique local experiences. One was a workshop called “Unleash Your Inner Goddess.” As a non-Reiki, non-astrology, non-divine healer type, I had no reference for what this event would entail and blindly accepted the invitation.
If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be in a room of Italian females doing a shamanic ritual to awaken our vaginas like lotus flowers, I would have told them they were tripping. But here I was, doing just that. And it felt absolutely amazing.
Following the meditation we were led in shamanic dance. After each woman was blindfolded, we proceeded to dance in a circle, following the beat of a drum. Animalistic noises were encouraged to help each woman find their unabashed inner self.
The night ended with a physical touch activity where all 12 of us women lay in a cuddle puddle. It is a truly humbling thing to spoon a dozen strangers. However, it reminded me that we are all just humans that need love. Here we were, unaware of any past relationships, traumas, or sexual orientation, all giving love to one another.
In the sharing circle portion of the workshop, one of the women said, “You know how to spot strong women? They are the ones lifting you up.”
And that’s exactly how I felt. Like we were all on stilts in the beginning, eventually helping each other find stable ground.
By the end of the night, the judgment was gone but the energy remained.
In a notably romantic city, I learned not just how to fall in love with myself but also with the confident women that helped me get there.
I met women from all over the world whilst in Florence. Throughout my time in this incredible city, I was continually amazed that I could sit at a table with all sorts of women–all from completely different cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs and upbringings–and find common ground in our travels. We were all there for the same thing: to find adventure, love and purpose.
Florence has this magical power to bring together the reinvented versions of ourselves, women especially. Each female I met had a confidence and lightness I had never seen in the States. As I immersed myself in Italian feminist culture, my perspective changed like a freshly installed light switch. Once I flicked it on, I stayed in that brightness, delightfully free from the oppressive darkness of a male-dominated society.
There is a joyful humor in the quickness of female friendship. You can collect a group of strangers at a table and within seconds find yourself sharing intimate stories about your best sexual adventures, throwing around the term “lover” like it’s part of everyone’s dictionary.
As those nights turned from dinner to the dance floor, I couldn’t help but feel how being alone—together, as women—felt so damn liberating.
Images Via Tricia Patras
