This week on Broad City, Abbi’s mom comes to visit her in New York City, and the two go to dinner at the sushi restaurant Ilana works. Things get pretty heated pretty quickly, to say the least.
Additionally, recapper Lindsay is in Las Vegas seeing Britney Spears, while recapper Danielle is pantless at home, on the couch (per usual). So pretend the following reactions are thoughts happening in Danielle’s head rather than a conversation with Lindsay.
On Ilana’s “happy lamp”:
What just happened? Oh, it's one of those natural lighting lamps for seasonal good affective disorder.
Oh, Ilana, don't restrict yourself from the drugs you need!
When Abbi’s mom is introduced:
Oh, her mom thinks she's just an artist?
*gasp* Breast cancer?
Abbi's mom never had a martini or went to a show at night? She wants have a naughty girl’s night out… does she know what that means?
NOOOOOOOOO. Abbi’s mom is gonna get with Bevers!
When Abbi and her mom go to Ilana’s restaurant:
Oh, she's at work with that damn lamp now?
Do you think there's gonna be conflict between Ilana as a server to Ilana and Abbi?
No, don't talk about getting pregnant! Don't get pregnant!
Her mom is gonna get wasted tonight.
What is Ilana DOING? She totally zoned out there in front of customers.
Uh, oh, that's bright. Well, I guess she's fine now, though?
Do you think Ilana would have a threesome with Bevers and Abbi’s mom?
When Abbi’s mom gets high:
Oh, no her mom is gonna get high too. Totally going to get with Bevers. Ugh! No!
She's never said fuck before?
Yeah, that's enough pot, Miss Abbi’s mom.
Whoa. That's an intrusive question to ask your daughter, right?
WHAT DID SHE EXPECT ABBI TO SAY? And why is she comparing herself?!
She IS married!
Bevers. She's gonna have sex with him.
Yeah, Abbi is right. You can just ask for anal if you want it.
I didn't even realize there was water in the middle of that restaurant. Manhattan though, figures.
When Ilana feels emotionally low:
She should really just get that checked out by a professional.
She's fired. Totally fired. Wait, now, she's gonna get a promotion.
What? Depression is actually working to her advantage in the food industry?
When the show ends:
Smash that stigma, Ilana!
She never slept with Bevers. Thank God.
Photos via Broad City/Comedy Central
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Lindsay and Danielle are Philadelphia-based freelance writers. Midwest native Lindsay's work, which you can learn more about on Twitter, has appeared on Care2, the Huffington Post, and One Green Planet among others. Wannabe Midwest native Danielle's work, which you can learn more about at daniellecorcione.com and on Twitter, has appeared in Teen Vogue, Esquire, and more.