'I freakin' marched for you! You won’t get down on this?!'

In the daily business of being women, we don our defensive armor in preparation for the deluge of catcalls and passes we will likely encounter before we’ve even grabbed our morning cup of joe. Now, in the age of the Women’s March, we have to contend with a whole new breed of man and his pickup antics — the self-proclaimed male feminists who hide their misogyny under a pink pussy hat. These so-called woke dudes were the subject of this weekend's hilarious SNL short, 'Girl in a Bar.'

In an all too familiar scenario, Michelle (Cecily Strong) arrives at a bar before her friend. She is immediately accosted by Dave (Beck Bennet), the first in a parade of dudes attempting to garner feminist kudos in order to score for the night! He immediately claims not to be one of those “skeezy guys.” He’s not trying to hit on her; he just can’t find a seat! Complimenting her The Future is Female shirt, Dave pulls open his plaid to reveal that they are twinning, before quickly parlaying that observation into asking her out. When she turns him down with a slightly disgruntled 'no thank you,' he freaks out: “Okay, bitch! I’m wearing this shirt and you won’t even let me nut. What the frick!”

As her next suitor, a mild-looking man with horn-rimmed glasses and a man-bun pulled back at the nape of his neck, pushes Dave aside, you can hear a muffled, “but I followed all the rules!”

The following three men, played by Kyle Mooney, Mikey Day and Alex Moffat, follow the same pattern: Fend off the previous man, attempt to endear themselves with a feminist pass and then freak out in an over the top show of white male privilege. The interactions go from inappropriate to downright lewd, their cries of “BITCH!” getting increasingly hysterical.

The final guy, a walking parody decked out in the trifecta of pink pussy hat, Women’s March shirt and Planned Parenthood buttons, asks, “Do you, by any chance, follow Kamala Harris on Twitter?” With her affirmative answer, he moves right along to “Do you wanna eat my butt?”

In a comedically deft maneuver, her friend (Aidy Bryant), the person assumed to save her from these terrible men, arrives only to ask Michelle to touch her tit. Even women are not immune! 

Photo via SNL

This post was originally published March 6, 2017

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Miriam Mosher graduated from Smith College before moving to New York where she is a writer by day and beer maven by night. She is a proud feminist, a champion of the semicolon and an avid thrifter. See more from Miriam at Bushwick Daily and Two Cities Literary Review.  

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