the bachelor

The Bachelor is a reality staple show that seems to become more popular by the season. The show reaches a variety of demographics, and is incredibly addictive, like television nicotine. 

Last week, mom and blogger Constance Hall posted a photo on Facebook of her 7-year-old daughter, Billie-Violet, who had asked if she could watch The Bachelor. Constance said no for a very interesting reason. 

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Constance explained how as a child, her daughter's life is full of competition. From who's the best in class to who's the fast to who's hair is the longest: competition is everywhere throughout childhood, for better or for worse. It is miraculous children can keep friends at all.

She explains further that love is not, and should not, be a competition. "Because there are no winners and there are no losers with love," she writes. "In your life you will love a man and he will love someone else, it happens to everyone. But that someone else didn't win and you didn't lose. You might meet someone else, you might decide you like women, you might just love being alone. But you will never lose."

She continues to discuss the difference between real love and this fictionalized reality TV love. 

"So you go and read a book or something while mummy watches The Bachelor on her own because I'm old enough know that it is fiction and I love a bit of shit fiction but your fresh young impressionable brain should be planning how you and every other little sweet girl you know are going to join forces and lead this beautiful world instead of poisoning yourself with shit TV."

And like the funny, feminist momma she is, signed off, "Love you Turd."

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The full letter reads:

An open letter to my 7 year old daughter who won't talk to me because I won't let her watch The Bachelor.
Dear Miss Billie-Violet,
Last night you got angry at me. You told me that it isn't fair that I don't let you watch The Bachelor.
I know right? It's the Bachelor. I let you watch all sorts of shows, you often hear swearing on TV and you don't bat an eye lid at nudity.
So why have I gone all hard arse on The Bachelor?
Because sweet thing and listen very carefully, your mum is rarely wise so you must pay attention.
You go to school and you are asked to run race against your best friend, you get into class and you offered a prize if you are the BEST artist in the class, you brush your hair in the bath tub with your friends and decide to Hold a COMPETITION on who's hair is the longest.
I have had to reside myself and give in to the great competition that is our society.
Your little lives are full to the brim with competing against each other, sometimes it's a miracle that kids leave childhood with any friends at all.
But do you know what one thing you should NEVER ever compete for is?
Love.
Because there are no winners and there are no losers with love. In your life you will love a man and he will love someone else, it happens to everyone. But that someone else didn't win and you didn't lose. You might meet someone else, you might decide you like women, you might just love being alone. But you will never lose.
And do you want to know the most important reason I won't let you watch The Bachelor?
Because the day your friends fall in love should bring you SOOOOOO much joy. The absolute funnest part of falling in love is debriefing and dissecting and repeating every single thing that he said to you with...... Your friends, because they WANT to know, they love the fact that you are in love. They don't sit in a corner at a cocktail party staring at you and bitching about you to other girls who they also hate because they are all COMPETING for love.
That's just not how it works.
So you go and read a book or something while mummy watches The Bachelor on her own because I'm old enough know that it is fiction and I love a bit of shit fiction but your fresh young impressionable brain should be planning how you and every other little sweet girl you know are going to join forces and lead this beautiful world instead of poisoning yourself with shit TV.
So be mad if you must Miss Billie-Violet, but one day when your best friend and you are up until 3am Facebook stalking the boy she is in love with I will listen to you giggling and barge in for my apology.
Love you Turd.
Mum

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