If you live in a state where pepper spray is illegal and you haven’t yet jumped on the Ted Cruz machine-gun and bacon bandwagon, no need to fret. Someone out there in the world sat down and thought “you know I like my purses and I like cutting up flesh but gosh-darn if I didn’t have to choose!” And now you don’t have to. This isn’t just a meat cleaver-shaped purse; it’s a bloody meat cleaver purse, because what good is a meat cleaver purse if it wasn’t just used to hack away at attackers? It's $34.95, which seems like an utterly reasonable price for the stylish elimination of assailants.

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Taia is a fabulous human who is working and writing in New York City. She writes about politics, reproductive rights, and pop culture. When not writing she likes to sleep, read Carl Sagan, and do as many squats as her legs can handle. Follow her on Twitter @taiahandlin and Facebook as Taia Handlin.

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