Start carving those pumpkins kids, 'cuz Halloween is right around the corner. October 31st is, in my not so humble opinion, the sexiest holiday, depending on whether or not you find stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey at all sexual. To each her own. Anyway, the annual celebration is guaranteed to bring with it an onslaught of girls dressed in skimpy renditions of cops, pirates, or bunnies.

If that’s your bag and you feel confident as hell walking down the street wearing a potentially flammable ensemble, then by all means, you do you, girl. But how about the gentlemen in the crowd? I don’t think it’s fair that they get to hide behind an adequate layer of fabric, especially if the tail end of October is freezing cold, when the ladies trot out in little more than lingerie and devil horns.  So, in the spirit of equality, here are ten of the sluttiest slash sexiest slash most scandalous men’s Halloween costumes for the coquettish dudes in your life. Have a fun, fabulous and above all SAFE All Hallows' Eve! 

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10. Hot Scottie, hotcostumes.com, $49.99

I don't even care if they talk funny, Scottish men are always HOT. 

 

9. Sexy Fireman, onlinefancydress.com, $27.88

Three alarm all the way.

 

8. Leather Cowboy, abcunderwear.com, $55.95

Yeehaw!

 

7. Candyman Caveman, eBay, $31.90

Fred Flintstone would probably not approve. Wilma, most definitely. 

 

6. Babe Barbarian, 3wishes.com, $64.95

Show me your sword. 

New Fall Issue d217c

 

5. Guilty Pleasure Inmate, 3wishes.com, $44.95

Orange is the New Black spinoff? Yes, please. 

 

4. Naughty Seaman, eBay, $30.40

Ahoy sailor!

 

3. Classic Chippendale, amazon.com, $27.50

Be prepared to dance, gentlemen. 

 

2. Officer Frisk, candymanfashion.com, $35.12

Where does he hide his gun??

 

1. And of course, there's always the perennial favorite: Sexy Kitty, priceless

 

images c/o: amazon, ebay, candyman, 3wishes, zoofashion

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