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From BUST's print magazine's Deember/January issue, sexologist Carol Queen answers your sex questions.

Q: What’s the best lube for shower sex? ?– Wet and Wild


Ah, getting wet while getting wet! For some, this is the height of sexiness—at least until someone tries to put fingers or other nice appendages into you. Shower water, as well as that found in bathtubs, hot tubs, rivers, lakes, etc., pretty much washes off your own natural lubricant, even if you get quite wet on dry land. (Of course, not everyone does, especially if they’ve just smoked weed or are on antihistamines.)

Water-based lubricants generally wash off, too. The lubricating agents that don’t wash off easily are silicone and oil, like coconut or almond oil. Not everyone wants to use an oil for insertive sex, and if you are using condoms, you definitely shouldn’t. Silicone lube is, if anything, slipperier, and it will help you comfortably get down in very wet environments. There are many brands, and any of them should hold up well in the shower. The thing you want to watch for is spilling them in the shower, because they’re hard to clean up. (Salt, of all things, might be helpful. But don’t slip before that can be deployed!) When you go to your friendly neighborhood sex shop or website, pay attention to the type of bottle the lube comes in. Watch out for glass, and consider a pump dispenser so you don’t need to grab the bottle. A little of this type of lube generally goes a long way—if you over-indulge, your lubricated parts will stay pretty slippery for a while.

Since I mentioned lakes and hot tubs, let me address the bonus question: “Is it a good idea to fuck in there?” It’s a great idea but likely not an optimal scheme IRL. Reason being, the thrusting-in motions of intercourse carry water into the vagina or rectum—and if that’s what you’re up to, you really, really need a good slick lube. Hot tub water has chemicals and maybe germs; lake or river water has all those microbes that look so cool under a microscope, but living in your junk, maybe not so much. Plus, your own bacteria will be carried out into the water for the next people to fuck in. Leave that to the fish.

Carol Queen's latest book (written with Shar Rednour) is The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.

Got a sex or relationship question you need answered? Submit it here.

This article originally appeared in the December/January 2018 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!


Top photo: Riverdale/The CW

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