JO 8071 00 3

Key by Jopen Comet II

Size: banana wearing a ping-pong ball as a hat
Shape: the phone part of a rotary phone
Sound: so quiet!!
Strength: unghh yes
Satisfaction: yep
Pairs with: ski shots

I’ve been skiing for a long time, but I don’t really know how to ski, and I’ve been masturbating for a long time (though not as long as I’ve been skiing ;) ) but I’m not sure I know how to use the Comet II. It’s a G-spot vibe, so I assume that means it’s supposed to pleasure your G-spot. Right? Who knows? I did not want to put this thing inside me. The Comet II is big and chunky, like a soup ladle. The part that goes inside your vagina is bulbous and takes some jimmying to fit in. Jimmying. Are you aroused yet?

But wait! I gave up, used the Comet II as a clit vibe instead, and it was awesome! Intense orgasms, lots of grip, super quiet, USB chargeable, etc. Was it unprofessional of me to use the vibe in a way other than it’s intended for? Do I care? If a girl has a loud orgasm in her apartment when none of her roommates are there to hear it, does she make a soud? (Duh, she obviously does.)

Because of its quality as a clit vibe, I’m gonna assume it’s a good g-spot vibe too. But from its exterior, it is intimidating and unwieldy as a g-spot vibe, particularly for beginners to the region. Like ski shots, this vibe seems like it doesn’t make practical or ergenomic sense, but hey, it does the trick.

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