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WeVibe Touch

Size: a jar of artisanal mustard
Shape: a Snuggie standing up
Sound: whisper-silent
Strength: a nice white lady in downward dog
Satisfaction: yes ma’am
Pairs with: a generous glass of Kendall-Jackson chardonnay

The WeVibe Touch is the yoga mom of vibrators. It’s just, like, so centered. This is the vibe of scented candles and quinoa and switching from coffee to green tea. All your dude friends from middle school have a massive boner for your hot yoga mom (AND IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, OKAY, JACK THARP? OKAY?), and you’ll have a massive boner for the WeVibe Touch. Or something like that.

WeVibe makes quality products, and this one stands up under the usual pressures: It’s waterproof, it’s made of super soft silicone, it’s oh-so-quiet, and it can do a flawless headstand. Its amorphous shape fits all kinds of curves in your body, making it a truly great clit vibe. There are eight different pulse settings (same situation as the Tango) and some of them are kind of silly—but if you want to come to the rhythm of the cha-cha, there’s no judgement from me. ;)

touch product image

I just don’t like the purple color of this vibe—and like my own yoga mom, pleasing aesthetics are very important to me!!—but that’s not a deal breaker, because the vibrator itself is more than worth it. It’s kind of a sensual vibe, in a soft, MILFy sort of way. It’s been really into ceramics lately. It loves earth tones!

The Touch has powerful vibrations and is easily held, cleaned, and charged. It’s functional and flexible. It would be hard not to like it, honestly.

A side note: I was talking to my mom about Lululemon (BOOO, Lululemon) and other yoga clothing companies, and she had this to say:

“I’m way too cool for Athleta now—now I just go for the obscure random pant found in tiny shops along the Oregon coast or in chic hidden San Francisco stores, that no one else has, so I’m more MYSTERIOUS.”

My mother is a queen. Also, this is a good vibrator. Peace out, girl scouts.

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Images via WeTouch

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