Sex

  LONG-DISTANCE ROMANCE was the last thing on my mind when I joined an Internet group called Dark Witches Realm, but before I knew it, a nerdy discussion about Ada Lovelace snowballed from late-night chats to plane tickets, and now I have a bae who lives 5,000 miles away. Luckily, I have the OhMiBod BlueMotion NEX-2 Bluetooth Vibrator ($129, lovelifetoys.com). Both myself and my partner download the app, then, once approved from my end, he can express his affections by controlling the vibrator’s rhythm and speed,...
One of the most common questions sexologists get, particularly from people with vaginas, involves the ability to have an orgasm during solo or partnered sex. Some people with this issue think there’s something wrong with them and might subscribe to incorrect ideas about how to get there. Or they don’t recognize the role arousal plays in their response. Without sufficient arousal, orgasm is much less likely. And perhaps even more importantly, sex is much less enjoyable. What is it, though, and how can you amp it...
We're bringing you this Q&A from the Sex Files in our Spring 2020 print issue, featuring advice from sexologist Dr. Carol Queen. I was born with a displaced anus. As a child, I would often cry while in the bathroom because pooping was painful. I was told by my doctor that this issue would correct itself as I got older. Now that I’m an adult, I think it definitely has improved, but not entirely; I still have some trouble pooping at times and can feel when...

In Australia, where sex work is (mostly) legal, women are paying to get laid and loving it For a sex researcher like me, Australia is a great place to conduct studies because sex work here is mostly legal. (In some areas there are conditions placed on its legality and in other places it is only “decriminalized,” but generally speaking, it is mostly legal.) This lawfully neutral environment makes it easier for folks to open up about things like buying and selling intimate services. So when I...
Let’s face it: sex education in this country is lacking. According to a 2018 report from the Center for American Progress, only 24 states and the District of Columbia mandate sex ed in public schools (and the number that actually provide information about contraceptives is even lower). Basically, only half of teens get informed about contraception before their first time. And this was before the pandemic moved class online. So if your sex ed was lacking and virtual classes don’t help matters or if you’re...
We're bringing you this Q&A from the Sex Files in our Spring 2020 print issue, featuring advice from sexologist Dr. Carol Queen. I have type 2 diabetes. Even though I’m working hard to control it, I still struggle with terrible recurring vaginal yeast infections—a common side effect. As a result, I haven’t had penetrative vaginal intercourse in eight months. I know there are other ways to have sex, but this is my favorite way, and at this point even masturbation is uncomfortable. Aside from avoiding sugar...
The dating site Match.com boasts the slogan “start something real,” positioning itself as the most authentic version of online personals. So it’s ironic that, while gay and straight members are welcome, bisexual subscribers have to jump through unnecessary hoops—and they still don’t get to present themselves accurately, thanks to Match.com’s discriminatory practices.  In 2014, Pink News revealed that Match.com was requiring bisexual members to pay for two subscriptions and use two profiles, one for dating men and one for dating women. In communications, Match representatives simply said,...
We're bringing you this Q&A from the Sex Files in our Winter 2020 print issue, featuring advice from sexologist Dr. Carol Queen. I’ve started dating a submissive man with experience seeing professional dommes. I’m a switch who has had kinky fantasies forever, but I rarely get to a place romantically where I feel safe enough to act them out. I’m excited to explore my more dominant side IRL, but I’m intimidated and self-conscious. Also, what if I occasionally want to switch places? –View From The Top Fortunately,...
An issue regarding decriminalizing sex work has divided members of the National Organization for Women. Toni Van Pelt, the president of NOW, reignited the long-debated issue after testifying in front of the D.C. council last October, where she vehemently stated on the behalf of the organization that it would not support a bill to legalize sex work in the capitol. The 72-year-old argued that, if legal, the area would become a hotspot for sex tourism and endanger women and girls. She added that the industry is...

We're bringing you this Q&A from BUST's Sex section, featuring advice from sexlogist Dr. Carol Queen. Whenever my significant other and I have sex in a position where we’re face to face, he keeps his eyes closed the entire time, and it makes me feel bad that he won’t look at me or into my eyes. Is there a good way to broach the topic without making him feel self-conscious? –Private Eyes   Dr: Carol Queen: You might just want to try saying something like, “Please look at...