Sex

  The We-Vibe Tango Size: a super jumbo tampon (because you can’t help it if you’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina) Shape: lipstick-ishSound: quieter than an electric toothbrushStrength: your trusty Patagonia fleeceSatisfaction: it’ll get you therePairs with: a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale—safe choice, solid beer, drink of dads and nature brosLet’s start this review of theTango with a Shakira music video of the same name: Now that I, for one, am all hot and bothered, let’s talk about vibrators. I really like theTango. Mine came in...

  Q:  I’m in my 30s, and I’ve never really been a relationship person, so I’m used to long stretches where I’m not having partner sex. Occasionally, I’ll add penetration when I masturbate. In the last couple of years, I’ve noticed that I bleed when penetrated, both sexually and at the gynecologist, with the speculum. Is this just because I’m out of practice, or is this something I should get checked out? –Wrong Time Of The Month   Carol Queen:  As I learned while helping my partner Dr. Robert...
The Vibratex Princessa (Girls Series)Size: plastic Easter eggShape: plastic Easter egg wearing a tiny crownSound: a girlish whisperStrength: the sass of a thousand Cher HorowitzesSatisfaction: the bubblegum-snappin’ kindPairs with: a PhrostieThe Princessa is so cute it makes me want to CACKLE WITH GLEE. It looks like a sea anemone or a squid or a weird fruit or a cake! It’s so little! Eeeee! It’s from a Vibratex line of pink and white vibes called “The Girls.” And I’m such a sucker for anything that screams...

Q: In 2012, I suffered a massive stroke, which has not only isolated me but also caused me to be involuntarily celibate. My quandary is, I never learned how to masturbate! Previous to the stroke, my now ex-boyfriend served as my orgasm-giver. However, now that I’m begrudgingly solo, I need some help finding my “happy place” again. Not to mention, I’m currently stuck living with my parents without a lot of privacy. –Starting Out Solo Carol Queen: You don’t say whether your stroke affected your range...
The Basics Size: 3.75” by 1.125” Shape: A girthy endive Sound: Sweet nothings whispered by a virginal 13-year-old boy Strength: Your fleeting crush on Billie Joe Armstrong Satisfaction: Can’t get none Pairs with: Half a flat bottle of Sprite and two shots of gin that you stole from your parents’ liquor cabinet The Low-down The Tantus Kiss is the color of pink Laffy Taffy and it looks like something a Polly Pocket would wear. If that doesn’t sound sexy to you, you must’ve never been...

  size: a freshly-laid egg by a proud mother hen shape: bunny head sound: a moody purr strength: the little engine that could satisfaction: mm-hm pairs with: a very, very stiff pink martini This vibrator looks like a Neopet. Just LOOK at this fucking adorable little vibe. LOOK at it. The Jimmyjane Form 2 is like Hello Kitty in a bunny costume, or a Tamagotchi, and it sits in its own dainty charging port. So cute! I named mine Spike, because its color is called “slate” and slate is the color of MYSTERY...

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I’m introducing you to the Eroscillator. It kind of looks like a toothbrush. I was sent the Eroscillator base, which looks like a time capsule, and seven heads to choose from. Seven! There’s the Golden Spoon, the G-Point, the Ultra Soft Finger Tip, the Seven Pearls of the Orient, the French Legionnaire’s Moustache, the Cup & Ball, and the Grapes & Cockscomb. Not only did I get the vibrator, but it came with a DVD, too! I think it was filmed in...
It’s 11 a.m. and I can hear spanking. Somebody’s happy, I think to myself, then mentally pinpoint the floor (third), the bedroom (the sound designer’s), and the lover (his girlfriend). Curiosity quenched, I turn my mind back to writing. It’s morning at Hacienda Villa, and approximately 15 percent of the residents are fucking. I’m a founding member of this sex-positive intentional community, established in 2014 and housed in a gut-renovated brownstone in Bushwick, Brooklyn. The building was bought and restored by an investor and benefactor of...
Whenever I think about Tinder, I just think about a bunch of shirtless goblins whose frothy slobber is dripping all over their glass keypads. I guess it’s more or less universal knowledge that Tinder is a man’s world. So it’s no surprise that the CEOs and co-founders of the app are seething misogynists, probably crazed by money, Monster energy drinks, and women. The company got some flack last summer when a co-founder sexually harassed his ex-girlfriend and former Tinder vice-president. Recently, CEO Sean Rad's sexism went...

Q: I’ve been seeing a new guy for about a year, and we have decided to be non-monogamous. Other relationships I’ve had haven’t lasted this long, or I wasn’t this emotionally invested, so non-monogamy wasn’t an issue. I’m still having trouble with feelings of jealousy and low self-esteem, even though he has told me that he loves me and he isn’t going anywhere. –Open Season A: As you’ve already begun to discover, issues that can affect a relationship with one partner can (and usually do) show up in...